World of Wright

Yes Mr. Vice President

2010-06-08T14:17:00.001-07:00

My dear sweet husband is a huge baseball freak.
Our kids have been at Huntington Valley Little League for 8 seasons now.
My eldest son was the starting catcher and team captain for the Edison Charger Freshman Team this season and my husband took every opportunity to name drop every chance he got.

"So do both of your boys play baseball Josh?"
"My oldest boy is a starter at Edison"

And suddenly, out of nowhere Josh becomes this super cool dream weaver. The light from heaven shines upon his face and all the world believes Josh can make their child a baseball prodigy. It's truly an amazing sight.

But like most addicts, Josh is constantly "chasing the high". Suddenly playing the Edison Baseball card wasn't enough. Oh No! Josh needed MORE!

The end of the Little League season drew near. By the end of the season EVERYONE knew about that kid Jagger who is a baseball freak of nature. The "Blond Bomber". The little surfer kid/switch hitter on the Crimson Tide. That tiny kid who grabs his crotch AND spits before each and every pitch.

It was then that Josh realized the rout to eternal bliss....

"I am running for VP of T-Ball" He shouted from the couch cushions!

Josh puts his name on the ballot and suddenly the quited anti-social husband I once knew transformed into MR. POPULAR.

We attend Stephen's Freshman Team Party and everywhere you turn there is SOMEONE coming up to encourage him in his quest for T-Ball glory and just like any other race of office his platform is the same as the rest. "It's not what you know but WHO you know". What better platform to run on than "Hi! I'm Stephen and Jagger's dad. Vote for ME!"

This should be interesting...

God is Good...SOOOO GOOD!

2010-05-04T10:53:00.000-07:00

My mom lost her job.

Her last day at work was Monday of last week so yesterday marked her first full week of being one of America's many who are currently unemployed.

Yesterday I got a call from a gentleman named Roy who owns Li's restaurant on the corner of Adams and Magnolia. Roy was in need of a regular karaoke host for Friday nights.

We have never been called on a regular or semi regular gig. We usually do private parties or events but just in the nick of time God once again provided.

It's not glamorous, it's not salary with benefits but it will be fun, close to home and ease the stress just enough.

I would love for all my blogger community and friends to come out and sing with us!

When you sit there and hear that slightly intoxicated cougar belting out "Love Shack" slightly off key just remember...That is the sound of God providing. Now I know where I get my sense of humor from.

Li's Restaurant on the corner of Adams and Magnolia in Huntington Beach

We'll be bustin a move from 9 PM to 1AM.

Food For Thought

2010-03-17T16:13:00.000-07:00

I read a blog about a teacher eating school lunches for the entire year.
You can follow her journey by clicking here.
I make my kids lunches every day. I have a rule in my house that you must eat 3 different colors in a meal. Your entire plate cannot consist of variations of yellow because that is a sure fire sign you are not eating a healthy meal.
I stay away from soda at huge fattening lunches because I know I will end up snoring at my desk by 2 o'clock if I don't.
I have to wonder how many kids are being diagnosed with ADD, ADHD and other behavioral issues because of their diet.
My youngest son goes to a school where the charge for hot lunch is $2.75 per meal. The meals are expensive, unhealthy and taste like crap. We could be serving much simpler lunches like sandwiches, fruit, milk and carrots which would be far less expensive and much better for you.
I remember when I was a kid, Thursday was Chili and Wacky Cake day.
I was a brat in school, but I can't help but wonder...
Would I have been a brat if I didn't have gas from the chili, constipation from the cheese on the chili and a sugar high followed by a sugar crash from the wacky cake?
Who knows!
What I do know is I left that school and went to a private school in Jr. High where there was not a hot lunch option and NO WACKY CAKE. Mysteriously my grades improved and I my behavior improved also.

"Here's My Card"

2010-02-26T11:19:00.000-08:00

Jagger began his new baseball season and I was happy to see a couple kids on his team that go to school with him.
I live around the block from one of the moms and Jag sometimes plays with her son so we "talk" occasionally...we know each others name...we wave when we pass each other etc.
When I got in my car the other day I notices a business card in the cup holder.
Josh must have left it there..whatever...no big deal (I'm a big fan of dot dot dot in blogs by the way). I look closer at the card and it reads "Joey and Susie's mommy Jane Doe" (I have changed the names to protect the weird).
Do homemakers really get business card printed? Apparently so! Just like your standard business card an employer gets printed for you the homemaker business cards embellish on who you are and what you truly do in your 9-5.
Just like my business card suggests I am a consummate professional, hers suggested she is in love with her daily routine as a mother. If we were to be honest on our business cars mine would read "Amanda Wright...managing my personal life and updating FaceBook status from work less frequently than my colleagues (but not much less frequently)."

Help Pitch In, Help Save Lives

2010-02-04T10:19:00.000-08:00

My brother and sister-in-law are hiking Half Dome in Yosemite to raise money for a cure for blood cancers.
In 2006 my brother and his good friend Danny were at a concert together when Danny felt ill during one of their favorite songs. Danny was later diagnosed with Leukemia and passed away 30 days after the concert. Danny was only 29 years old.
Please visit their website and contribute whatever you can. Please pass it along to friends and family too.

http://pages.teamintraining.org/ocie/Yosemit110/TeamLostDogs

2nd Grader's Point of View

2010-01-20T14:44:00.000-08:00

I came across an article that talked about the musical Annie coming to the O.C. Performing Arts Center. I loved Annie as a kid. I knew all the songs by heart and I thought Jagger would like the story too so I began to tell him all about Annie.
I started by explaining how Annie was an orphan.
Me: Do you know what an orphan is Jag?
Jag: Yeah, It's an African American kid in Haiti right?
Me: (with a look of utter SHOCK on my face) No Jag, It's a child that doesn't have a mommy or a daddy. (Then I immediately think about blogging about it).
Sometimes kids know more than you think.
Sometimes kids don't know as much as you think they do.
Either way, the parents always looks stupid (and sometimes racist) in the end.

To Tuck or Not To Tuck

2010-01-04T16:11:00.000-08:00

So begins a new year, new resolutions and new ideas on how to cheat your way through accomplishing those resolutions.
Josh and I have come to the conclusion that I am done birthing children which means Snippity Doo Dah for Josh (What a trooper). If I want another baby I'll go adopt one. Besides, I have a white kid, brown kid and I'm thinking I would go for another color this time. The family from the new move The Blind Side had the right idea. Adopt a good underprivileged kid who is almost grown then he becomes a rich football player.
So back to the nitty gritty...now that I am certain my body won't endure any further mutilation at the hands of infants, I am contemplating plastic surgery (GASP!)
I got pregnant with Stephen at 17 which means I have lived my entire adult life with a stomach that looks straight out of a horror movie. It's fascinating to me how much I love billowing white creamy filling bursting from an Oreo but the creamy white filling busting out of my jeans makes me want to vomit!
So this year I will lose 10 pounds, save $5,000, save up 2 weeks of vacation time then get my tummy tucked.
Next year I will adopt my almost grown/almost a rich athlete child, make a move, appear on ESPN like a thousand times and walk up with Ashley Judd to accept the Oscar for playing me so well in the movie about me.

Tooth Faries Hand Out IOU's???

2009-12-23T10:07:00.000-08:00

What child in their RIGHT MIND yanks on their tooth for 2 hours THIS close to Christmas?!?!?
Jagger was up watching Biggest Loser Where are They Now with a bloody rag in his hand yanking the heck out of his tooth. Mind you, this kid usually waits until the tooth is jumping out of his mouth before he will dare to touch it. Now all of the sudden he's Tom Hangs in Castaway (member he yanked his own tooth with an ice skate blade...barf)!
So finally his tooth comes out at around 11:30 at night (there are no bedtime rules on Christmas break SUE ME!).
Jagger stashes his tooth under a pillow and I realize I have NO CASH!
So Jagger got an IOU from the tooth fairy that read a little something like this...

Jagger, I have been helping out Santa this week and I ran out of cash.

Leave your tooth under your pillow and I'll come over tomorrow night.

Love, T.F.

Jag was super excited to get a letter from T.F. but what I didn't know was that my mom snuck in and put $2 under his pillow so NOW Jag thinks it's a deposit and he's getting more cash tomorrow!

Tooth Fairy crisis averted!

Then Josh asks Jag if he wants to help buy stocking stuffers for Mom.

To which Jag replies "I thought Santa stuffed the stocking."

Way to go JOSH!

What IS That Smell?

2009-12-22T11:21:00.000-08:00

I know...shout from the roof tops! Mandy is Blogging again!!!!!
Thanks to some inspiration from Heidi G. and Kristi T. I am on the blog train again!
Not to mention my house is full of freaks who provide an abundance of blogging material...

So I was on the couch snuggling with Jagger under a nice warm fuzzy blanket when I noticed this odor emitting from my cute, sweet snuggly 7 year old baby boy.
"Do I smell B.O.?" I think to myself...
"Jag, lift up your are..." Nothing
"OK, Lift up the other arm..."
My eyes began to water as the hideous man smell came billowing from the armpit of my sweet little angel.
"Jagger!!! YOU HAVE B.O.!!!!!"
Jag turned to me with a look of excitement on his face and said "YES! I probably have black hairs under there too!!!"
Jagger runs back to my bathroom, swips a stick of Old Spice deodorant from his elbow all the way down his pits, finally stopping at his waist with a grin from ear to ear.

Merry Christmas Jagger...Santa brought you B.O. this year...

Parent Teacher Conference

2009-10-28T13:19:00.000-07:00

Josh and I met with Jag's teacher this morning. Stephen had the same teacher when he was in second grade and we were surprised that she remembered him.. I mean, it was 7 years ago.
She said "I got to see Stephen a couple weeks ago when he was frantically looking for Jagger but Jagger had walked home with someone and nobody knew where he was or who he was with".
"Yes, I remember that day" was all I could reply.
That was the day when the entire school realized I am a horrible parent. My strategy is simple...Lower the expectations the other mom's have of me so they stop asking me to be on the PTA. So far it's working.
So Josh got to sit in a "big people" chair while I sit in child size chairs waiting for the good, bad and ugly.
I was taken aback to see some of the kids chairs had seat cushions on them. Do kids REALLY need a seat cushion at school? Are their buns so tender they can't sit in a regular school chair like I did my entire childhood? No wonder some of these kids cry when you look at them!
But I digress...
Jag is in advanced math but his story writing skills are lacking (HELLO! Left brain right brain!!!).
He rushes sometimes so he can go to recess (I do the same thing around lunch time...who cares!).
Jag is very popular and all the teachers adore him. One of the third grade teachers has dibs on getting Jag in her class next year (Oh yeah...he's a butt kisser).
The way I see it, he'll be able to balance his check book, he will be too lazy to think up some dramatic story about where he's been all night, and he's already learned you can attract more bees with honey than vinegar.
He's gunna be just fine!

Halloween Deception

2009-10-08T10:45:00.000-07:00

So Jagger wants to be Jeff Hardy for Halloween. Why? I have no idea! He was going back and forth between Kid Rock and Jeff Hardy and to be honest there isn't much difference between the two.

Why didn't he just come out with it and say "Mommy! I wanna be trailer trash for Halloween!"

Jag jumped on the Internet looking for these stupid sleeve things which are clearly woman's tights cut up and used as hard core wrestling accessories. Does this not scream MOMMY ISSUES?

I refuse to spend $15 PLUS shipping to buy the replica mommy issue selves on the WWE website so I'm gunna buy girls tights at Walmart, cut them up and ship them from work so he gets them in the mail just as if the were shipped from the WWE web shop.

I could refuse to let him go as "mayor of the trailer park" but then he might pick a costume that actually cost money.

Why would I forbid him from dressing up in girls tights, a wife beater and jeans? It's like a Halloween dream come true! $5 for a Halloween costume.

This is almost as good as when Stephen dressed up as Dog The Bounty Hunter in 5th grade!

I'm starting to see a theme here...

The Wedding

2009-10-05T21:00:00.000-07:00

So it's been a while. WOW! IT'S BEEN ALMOST A MONTH SINCE MY LAST POST!
Well luck for me, my best friend's little brother, which makes him MY little brother, got married over the weekend.
I dressed Jagger up in a cute little preppy outfit complete with a collared shirt and khaki pants but Jag insisted on rolling up the sleeves and wearing his "Kid Rock" hat.
Not in the mood for a fight I just let him wear it.
Jagger only asked me when we were going to eat 3 times during the ceremony which was actually impressive.
Later that night when I was on the dance floor with Stephen and my mom doing my best impression of the "Thriller Dance" made popular by Michale Jackson when I got a tap on the shoulder.
Josh tells me "Honey! you gotta come see this!"
To my surprise I find Jagger with the ring bearer sitting at the bar chugging Shirley Temples like sailors.
Around 2 AM he was bent over the toilet hackin up maraschino cherries like a college freshman.
It's better that he learns these lessons now rather than later.

Fire Safety...Well, Not So Much

2009-09-10T23:08:00.000-07:00

Today at work we were talking about fire safety. I'm an insurance agent and we have lots of programs offered by different insurance companies to help you reduce the risk of fire damage, injuries etc.
It reminded me of a time a few years ago when the fire department had a demonstration booth at the fair that showed kids what to do in the event of a fire in their home.
Jagger, Stephen and I watch the group of kids in front of us going through the drill and I thought this would be a great lesson for the boys.
The smoke alarm went off, black balloons were lowered to simulate smoke filling the room, then the kids felt a door that was heated, decided that was not the best escape rout, then climbed out the window.
The kids ahead of us finished and it was our turn.
The smoke detector sounds and the fire fighter asks Jag what you are supposed to do when the alarm goes off.
With excitement in his voice Jag raises his hand and shouts"Take out the batteries!"
3 fire fighters staring me down would normally be a dream come true...Not so much in this case.

My Baby Went To High School Today

2009-09-02T08:33:00.000-07:00

And I cried...

I'VE BEEN ROBBED!

2009-08-31T14:14:00.000-07:00

So I was going to take the kids down to the beach Saturday.
It was super hot and great beach weather so why not???
I packed a bag, doused the tykes with sun screen and off we went.
I waited FOREVER to get to the gate where the kind attendant takes your money ($15) then gives you an all day parking pass.
I got my pass and drove around that parking lot for a SOLID HOUR!
I went from Newland down to Brookhurst and there was not one spot in sight!
Finally I go to the ticket man and he says there are NO REFUNDS PERIOD!
You have got to be kidding me!
There was another gentleman asking for his money back and he wasn't getting a single dime either.
By the time I went back to beg for my money they had closed off the parking because it was FULL.
Any other business would be in hot water for taking money for a particular service then not providing the service one paid for....THAT'S CALLED STEALING!
Unless that business who stole from you is the State of California...Then you call it "balancing the budget".

Vegas With Children???

2009-08-28T16:11:00.000-07:00

Labor Day weekend is fast approaching and Josh and I are lucky enough to have 4 day weekend so as many people do, we are going to have 1 last horah before the summer ends.
We thought about many places and we kept coming back to good ol' VEGAS.
I haven't been to "Sin City" since I was pregnant with Jagger. Josh worked for Frito Lay at the time and they had a huge banquet, fully paid for and Penn and Teller did a private magic show for the Frito employees and their guests. Chips tasted soooo sweet back in those days.
Frito gave Josh a pager...yeah PAGER! Look it up kids. The pager number was 1-800-FRITO-40. The #4 is also the letter H on your phone key pad so for years we said his pager # was 1-800-Frito Ho....anyway...
We decided to take the kids to Vegas but to be honest I have no idea what to do in Vegas with kids! I know Stephen would like to go "clubbin" with Paris Hilton and K. Fed but that's just not gunna happen.
One good thing is most of the people pool side are either drunk or hung over and I happen to look fabulous if you're wearing beer goggles!

Recomendations For My Gynochologist...

2009-08-21T15:02:00.000-07:00

I know it's been a while since I graced the internet with my infinite wisdom but I wanted to let you all know I am still alive and when strange things are happening I am always thinking "Should I blog about this?"

Against my better judgement...I will blog about this episode (Man! If I had a nickle for every time I typed "against my better judgement")

I had an appointment with my "woman doctor" (if ya know what I mean wink wink) her office is located right next door to the pet cemetery.

Now I find it very odd that more people leave flowers for their dead dog or cat than for Aunt Francis. The local "people cemetery" down the street always has far fewer flowers than the pet cemetery. I am always concerned that the same freaks that visit dead pets can also peek into the windows of the gynecologist's office when ever I'm there. What's more, the window overlooking the pet cemetery is located directly above the head of the "girl doctor chair" (what a view huh!).

I always wonder why the don't put the head of those beds with fancy leg rests toward the door. They never lock the door to your "private room" so if someone accidentally walked into your room during an exam it could be frightening! I'd much rather be spread eagle facing the wall vs. spread eagle facing an unlocked door in an office full of pregnant ladies, newborn babies and husbands posing as supportive but really only wanted to ditch the office for a couple hours.

Later that evening it dawned on me that the lady who occasional gives me an manicure and pedicure ALWAYS wears a mask but my gynecologist has NEVER used a mask EVER.

Short Conversation

2009-08-11T20:09:00.000-07:00

Jagger: Mom, I cried today
Me: What made you cry?
Jagger: Cuz Uncle Jesse was moving out and Michelle didn't want him to go. It was so cute it made me cry a little bit.
Me: Are we talking about the show Full House?
Jagger: YEAH!
Me: Oh...O.K.

I really don't know what to make of all this.

I Must Confess...

2009-07-31T09:11:00.000-07:00

So my dog Reggie died. Tragic to some I know, but I'm not much of an "animal person" and I have grown to appreciate being a "former dog owner" rather than a dog owner.

While the kids are saying:
"It's weird not having Reggie play ball with us in the back yard..."

I'm thinking:
"Yeah, his nose isn't in my crotch every time I come out here either..."

While the kids say:
"We should give away the dog bones to someone who has a dog"

I'm thinking:
You guys should also pick up the poop on the side of the house SOMEDAY considering we haven't had a dog for like 2 WEEKS NOW!

While the kids say:
"I hope Reggie is having fun in heaven with other dogs."

I'm thinking:
Yeah RIGHT! I had to FORCE you to feed him every day and NOW you care about his feelings. 2 weeks ago you were letting him starve!

We eat dinner on the patio every night now because there isn't a dog sitting by you begging for scraps.

I am filling up the holes he dug in the yard and they won't be dug up again the next day.

My yard is mine again!

You can call me a horrible person but I prefer to think of it as looking on the "bright side".

Quality Time With Jagger

2009-07-27T21:35:00.000-07:00

UGSFAW is in full swing which means Jagger does his best Jeff Dennis impersonation just as he did last year around this time (Jeff leads worship for the kids at UGSFAW).
Jag pulls out his guitar and sings at full volume the song of the day which happens to be "Mighty Deemer Lives" the correct lyrics are "My Redeemer Lives" but Jag insists I am wrong and he is right. Jag's impersonation of Jeff is spot on right, down to the occasional "C'mon church you can sing louder than that!"
Jag moves on to recite his Bible verse Ephesians 2:10....That's ALL he can remember is Ephesians 2:10. We bust out the Bible, he finds his verse and the words comes flooding back to mind complete with corresponding hand gestures.
We then finish with a deep conversation that goes a little something like this...
Jagger: (With my face in his hands he studies my face for a few seconds and says) "Mom, you better wax your face again"
Me: JAGGER!
Jagger: No really mom, I'm serious. (Looking more closely at my face now) Is that a zit on your face or what?
Me: JAGGER! LEAVE ME ALONE...I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS!
Jagger: You can just wax and everything else will be fine.
Me: Get to bed!

I'm Not A Cougar...I SWEAR!

2009-07-27T10:06:00.001-07:00

Stephen (my 14 year old son) and I are very close.
For the first 6 years of his life it was usually just the two of us hanging out, talking, going to the beach etc.
Yesterday Stephen and I went to the beach alone.
We talked about how we used to go to the beach alone all the time and spend hours in the sand playing and laughing together.
Stephen and I strolled down Main Street, Stephen with his arm around my shoulder as usual, and me looking up at my little baby wondering where the time has gone.
We went to Starbucks and got passion fruit lemonade and continued down toward the water.
People kept looking at us but I didn't really pay much attention to it.
Then it dawned on me...
They think we're dating!
They're probably wondering how some pleasantly plump 30 something snagged this cute guy with a six pack and a great tan!
If hey only knew...the poor kid is stuck with me for LIFE!

Thanks PETA!

2009-07-21T15:28:00.000-07:00

My dog Reggie died unexpectedly on Sunday.
He had seizures off and on for the last couple months and I'm not one of those people who can drop $6,000,000 on CT Scans and other medical procedures for a dog I rescued from a shelter.
That being said, I still loved Reggie and the feeling of security he brought to our family.
Sunday we found him having a seizure in the back yard. It was obvious it had been going on for some time. The grass was worn down where he was laying and there were other "signs" that this had been going on for a while.
Sunday mornings aren't the best time to get rushed animal care. I couldn't transport him myself due to his size (90lbs) and he was thrashing around so we couldn't lift him without getting hurt ourselves.
We called Animal Control, left a voicemail and they called back about 30 minutes later while my dog lay convulsing in the yard suffering.
From the time we saw him in a seizure to the time he arrived at the Humane Society he had been seizing for 3 hours. That doesn't include the hours before we noticed it was happening.
Back in the day you could shoot your dog and put it out of it's misery "O'l Yeller style" but had I done that, I would have been arrested and fined. It would have been considered "inhumane" to kill him with a gun however I can let him suffer for 3 hours in front of my children and pay $110 to have the Humane Society kill him with a needle instead.
I just find it all very ironic.

Risky Business

2009-07-16T09:05:00.000-07:00

I missed my gyno appointment yesterday because I have a cold.
The thought of sneezing in stirrups was just too much.

Pearls of Wisdom

2009-07-15T08:54:00.000-07:00

When eating a grilled shrimp, scall0p and veggie kabob, make sure the yellow squash you are chowing into isn't a lemon wedge. It's quite a shocker at first bite.

Though you may be small in comparison and feel the need to fight dirty, it is not wise to ambush your big brother and pee on him while he is taking a shower. Payback ALWAYS sucks.

Don't call anyone "Sir" unless you are absolutely POSITIVE you are speaking to a man.

Though charcoal tablets are a great tummy ache remedy, a charcoal tablet "irruption" is not a pretty sight and can be frightening if you forgot you took charcoal tablets.

My Litte Patriots

2009-07-08T15:35:00.000-07:00

Our family is very patriotic which may come as a bit of a shock to some.

I used to think of patriotic people as old men with stories about Viet Nam or "Nam" as some would say but then I became a military wife at the age of 17 in 1994 (5 days shy of my 18th birthday GASP!)

I lived on Fort Ord which is a closed down army base in Seaside CA. I would drive in the ghost town looking base looking at the boarded up housing around me and think of all the military families who must of lived there over the years. My uncle Dave flew to serve in the Korean war from that base and I would often think of what must have gone through the soldiers minds as they waved goodbye to their families and small children, not knowing if they would ever see them again.

In 1996 I lived in Korea in a tiny apartment off base. Nobody looked like me and NOTHING was like home.

The locals ate pizza with a knife and fork, McDonald's served steamed rice and kimchi, nobody spoke English and my Korean was not the best (you would be amazed how airplane and bloody stool machine sound almost EXACTLY alike in Korean!). I couldn't EVER purchase a piece of clothing in a local store because they were made for the average Korean body type so I felt like the jolly white giant of the neighborhood.

When I took the bus to the Air Force Base I immediately felt at home...back on U.S. soil.

There were people of every color, shape and size, there was fried chicken and a Burger King on base. I could get Baskin Robins ice cream and have a casual conversation with a stranger. There was an Italian restaurant and a Mexican restaurant. When you ordered fish on base they removed the head before serving it to you. It was a relief to feel like I was back home.

Occasionally we would have drills on base. Everyone...I mean EVERYONE had to act as if we were being invaded by North Korea. Armored trucks would drive by and soldiers with M16's at the ready would drive by as sirens would scream through the streets. I was often stuck in a the commissary for an hour or 2 during these drills. "NOBODY IN...NOBODY OUT!" All to serve as a reminder that though we felt like we were home, we were far from it. Our military was putting their lives in harms way to protect this tiny little country full of good people who just wanted to stay free and h0pefully reunite with their family in North Korea one day.

This Independence Day we went to an Angels game. A huge plane flew overhead that was so loud and powerful it rattled your soul. As the national anthem was sung I looked at my boys and without being asked, their hats were off and hand placed over their hearts.

We are truly blessed to be living here and blessed to have those who give so much of themselves for our freedom and the freedom of others.

From Panic To Anger Then Punishment

2009-07-02T08:15:00.000-07:00

Stephen is now in high school.
He often stays up until 1 or 2 A.M. watching T.V. or a movie, texting his friends or talking to them on the phone etc.
I usually get up around 1 or 2 to see if he is still awake and make sure the house is in order, turn off the T.V. blah blah blah.
But I digress...
Last night after youth group, Stephen and his friend Jacob were making dinner at about 9:30.
I went to bed around 10.
I wake up at around 1 A.M. as usual and see the T.V. is on, every light is on in the front part of the house and no boys are nowhere to be found.
I go turn off the T.V., go in the kitchen to find he had left one of the burners on after he cooked dinner for he and his friend (it had been on for about 4 hours).
I check the front door and the door is UNLOCKED, peak in Stephen's room to see if they had crashed in there, and still...NO BOYS TO BE FOUND!!!
Now when I was his age my mom would have called my friend's mom's to find me but things are different now.
I don't have phone numbers to the moms but I have numbers for all the friends because they all have cell phones. I call the cell phones of Stephen and his friend...no answer.
I check for status updates on facebook and myspace (again, not something my mom ever did to find out where I was or what I was doing) No status updates either.
I text Brittany (who always seems to know where Stephen is and had been with Stephen earlier at youth group) and she says he went to Jacob's house around 10:30 or 11.
By the way, texting "You wouldn't happen to know where Stephen is would you?" will not get you the mom of the year award I'm pretty sure.
By this time I'm pretty sure he is safe but still not totally sure because I haven't spoken to him myself. Well, I'm sure enough he's O.K that I start plotting his punishment.
I finally spoke to Stephen this morning and he spent the night at his friends as I thought, so now it's GAME ON!
Does anyone know when punishment becomes abuse?
I'd like to get as close to that fine line as I possibly can!

Thinking Out Load

2009-06-30T08:49:00.000-07:00

When I ask the boys in the house (that includes my husband) to clean, it is my belief they intentionally do a horrible job so I don't bother asking them to do it again.

I might buy gallons of that Nivea cellulite cream and roll around in it. I really hope it works like the commercial says cuz that chick is totally skinny!

I've been working out for like 4 months now and I haven't lost a pound (a pound that I didn't put right back on anyway). My brain likes my body this size and it's driving me crazy. I know I'm getting healthier but lets be honest...I work out to get skinny not healthy! Anyone who says different is a liar!

One time I realized that every magazine I owned (we're talking 6 or 7) had a caption on the front page about losing 10 pounds in a week, ten days etc... That's when I knew I had a weight loss obsession.

I have 2 aunts that have had plastic surgery in the last month. I have 1 rule...

You can't tell me how you FINALLY feel good about your self when you told me my ENTIRE childhood looks aren't what matter but it's "what's on the inside that counts".

I have no issues with plastic surgery. I've lived my ENTIRE adult life with a stomach that looks like a plate of lasagna and would LOVE to drop $4k on a tummy tuck, but I'm not going to say my life has been miserable and now I finally have a reason to live! Gimme a break!

I am in love with a new country son called "She's Rockin The Beer Gut". Most songs are about skinny chicks and it's nice to be reminded there are still some chubby chasers left in the world...and they write songs about their dream girl.

Date Night

2009-06-26T09:04:00.000-07:00

With 2 kids in All-Stars, one of which is also in high school baseball camp, it's hard to find the time for just the two of us.
On Thursday nights Jagger has practice from 6-8 at Mile Square Park.
For the last couple weeks Josh and I have made Thursday night "Date Night".
Last night, our "quality time" alone together consisted of walking the isles of Sam's Club sampling beef AND turkey jerky (nothings too good for my baby!) and sipping samples of a geriatric vitamin juice.
We ended our lovely evening by filling our gas tank in preparation for the weekend baseball schedule and a romantic little sit down dinner at Jack In The Box where I got that stupid mini sirloin burger song stuck in my head the rest of the night.
I sipped my cocktail (half lemonade half sprite) and gazed into my honey's eyes and he downed a chicken fajita pita in record time. Then his deep voice whispered "You gunna eat that?" sending chills down my spine.
Ahhhhh True Love!

Baseball, Ice Cream and Gluten (what ever that stuff is)

2009-06-22T14:08:00.001-07:00

Jag had 2 all-star games Sunday at 12 & 2.
It was hot, I was sweaty and I hear the faint sound of ice cream truck chimes in the distance.
As I approach the truck full of cold sweet goodness I realize the tune ringing from the truck is Silent Night!
I had prepared myself for the ice cream man who was probably on probation reeking of alcohol with maybe 3 teeth in his mouth but Christmas music?
If the guy is that backwards, he's probably selling gluten free cookes and baby carrots outa that truck!
I don't even know if I spelled gluten free correctly! I'm sure gluten is bad for you so I probably LOVE it just like I love fat on steak so I have never had a reason to read or spell gluten!
I know I'm going off on a tangent but I just realized I love gluten and I don't even know what gluten is!
My gluten levels are probably low thus causing the insane usage of the exclemation point in this blog!!!
As for crazy Christmas ice cream man passing off rice cakes in a waffle cone as a treat, the Survival Insurance guy said it best...
"I Can't Take That Ride"

Mom vs. Dad

2009-06-15T09:55:00.000-07:00

When I wake up the boys in the morning I open Stephen's door and with the sweetest voice possible "Time to get up honey". If Stephen doesn't get up I go back and remind him in that same soft sweet voice.

When I wake Jag up I sit next to him and give him kisses on his sweet little sleeping face. He almost always greets me with a big yawn, stretching, a fart and a giggle. Then he asks me to cuddle for a minute which is my favorite time of the morning.

Josh on the other had, throws open the door to each of their rooms and and yells "Time to get up son!"

He almost always has to go back with a reminder just like I do but his are "Don't make me come in here again" and my personal favorite "That's it! You're going to bed early tonight!"

The boys usually get out of bed in the same amount of time using either method but I get the kissy sweet time first thing in the morning which Josh doesn't get to enjoy.

I also get the fart.

I guess there is a method to Josh's madness after all.

Inspiration

2009-06-11T09:32:00.000-07:00

For Stephen's graduation party we will serve nothing but Cactus Cooler. In fact the entire color scheme/theme of the party is Cactus Cooler.
Cactus Cooler is quite possibly the best carbonated citrus beverage on the planet.
We'll have water available for diabetic attendees that require a sugar free option.
Brittany Saichek is making Cactus Cooler inspired cup cakes which are sure to be the bomb diggity!
For those of you who have not enjoyed this refreshing beverage I suggest you start living and drink Cactus Cooler.

Title is Everything

2009-06-08T10:08:00.001-07:00

Jagger is an all-star and there are many duties which require help from parents.
When the manager of the team asked if anyone would be interested in becoming the business manager, Josh jumped at the chance.
Truth be told Josh loves helping out with the team. Even though this coaching season was not what he had hoped for, he still has the itch to coach and be part of the team in whatever way he can.
The manager appointed Josh as the business manager and I debated about getting some business cards made to read "Executive V.P. of Business Operations for the Shetland A All-Star Team 2009". After much joking about the "title" I asked the question "what does the Business Manager do?"
"I would be in charge of collecting money, forms etc."
To which I replied "DUDE! You're the TEAM MOM!"
That didn't go over so well...

Coffee Crisis Averted

2009-06-04T08:13:00.000-07:00

My beloved Keurig coffee pot was on the fritz.

The day after the disaster Josh brought me coffee on the way home from work. The next day I tried to tough it out but I was miserable until I got to work and sipped my first cup of the day.

I googled a fix, I called the manufacturer and they told me to call back between 8 & 5 EASTERN time because the gentleman I was speaking with wasn't "qualified" to offer a solution. The ever so generous Mr. Kenny Burg came over and helped me take it apart only to find there are a million screws that mean nothing.

Now I have 1 left over screw which means either they used too many and are wasteful or something will fall apart shortly.

Finally this morning at 5:30 I woke up and decided to call the manufacturer to see if they could help. It was 8:30 on the east coast so I was hopeful I could get a cup of coffee by 6:30 A.M.

I was transferred to 2 different people until finally an "advanced" technician diagnosed the problem.

The high tech solution.....

Stick a toothpick in the hole of the spout.

It worked

Thank you oh glorious advanced Keurig technician, for you have saved my life with only a toothpick!

Vacation, Lies, All-Stars & A Bromance

2009-06-01T08:27:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged in a while and I have been scolded by many for slacking off.
My family went to Salem Oregon to visit our favorite place in the world and visit family we miss so much.
First we stopped in Astoria and literally slept under a bridge (o.k. it was actually a Holiday Inn Express below a bridge)
Josh's dad has twin foster kids who are 4 named Jade and Jace (a boy and a girl).
They were so cute and extremely well behaved. Little Jace loved hanging out with Jag and Stephen or "the big boys" as he called them.
We all walked down to the docs to watch the seals lay in the sun and bark at us.
By the end of the day Jag and Stephen were begging us to keep them as if they were puppies, and we probably would have kept them if we could.

Jagger had open house at school and there was a little book he wrote called "All About Jagger".
Jagger is a great little writer with exceptional penmanship but he "embellishes" slightly.

His book included things like

I'm a great swimmer (He actually hated to be in any kind of water until last year and he gets extremely frustrated because he doesn't swim well)
We have a huge plasma T.V. (Both t.v.'s in our house are probably about 100 years old. One of them was used and cost $20)
I used to sleep with my mom but not anymore (Josh works nights and Jagger ALWAYS sleeps with me. It's all part of my evacuation plan. In case of a fire it would be much easier to grab the kid next to you first then find the other one instead of having to hunt down both kids in thick black smoke.)

Both boys are on all-stars so we are now forking out tons of cash, going to tons of games all over California. Jagger is telling everyone that he's going to play in different countries like Anaheim. It's hard to explain to a kid that Anaheim is in America when most of the signs are in Spanish.

Josh has missed his co-coach a lot now that the regular baseball season is over. They used to sit at the pizza parties and scout the other kids in the room to prepare the draft strategy for next year. I warned them it might not be a good idea to sit at a pizza parlor and talk about little boys all night but they never listen to me.

That's the short version of the events of late.

I'll keep you posed :)

Gone Fishing

2009-05-20T08:51:00.000-07:00

Jagger is on the Fountain Valley Pony Baseball All Star team for the Shetland A team.

Last night they had practice from 6 to 8.

The air is thick with testosterone while all the fathers stand on the side line, chest out, watching the best of the best in the Shetland division play ball as a team.

Last night I made the mistake of leaving Josh alone with the other dad's while I grabbed a pizza for us to eat on the sidelines.

There is one dad in particular that always talks to Josh about the way Jagger plays and how he would love for Jagger to be on the football team with his son because they are both so good at sports and they play really well together. They start talking about what they do for a living and Josh finds out that his new found buddy is an architect. He knows some MLB stars as a result of his occupation and has even had a couple over to his house on 4 acres in Corona.

As Josh salivates over the name dropping Mr. "Architect Dad" asks Josh if he goes fishing.

For some reason Josh says YES!

Architect Dad: Lakes or ponds?

Josh: Lakes

Architect dad: You should come out to my Corona house! I have a man made lake that I just filled with trout!

Josh: Sounds Great!

Last time Josh went fishing was probably in elementary school at a fish hatchery in Hesperia!

I tried to explain the winning a gold fish by throwing ping pong balls in a bowl at the O.C. Fair does not count as "fishing".

"How do you expect to pull this off" I asked.

You can't show up with a Sponge Bob fishing pole, cheese bait, a dorky hat and pass as a real fisherman! He could try and convince Architect Dad the he learned to fish from black bears and only catches them with his teeth but that probably wouldn't work either.

Thankfully Josh has found a solution to the dilemma he has gotten himself into.

He gave his usual response when faces with a challenge.

"I'll Google it!"

Addiction

2009-05-14T22:08:00.000-07:00

When Jagger was 2 months old he sat on his dad's lap and watch the Angels play ball and eventually win the World Series in 2002.
He would watch the screen and study the players like a little old man.
I didn't think much of it at the time but there were warning signs I just ignored.
When Jagger was about 12 months old he was already a huge baseball fan.
He would wear this hard Spider Man mask and pretend he was a catcher. He would squat in the living room then flip the mask off to catch an imaginary pop fly behind the plate. He didn't always catch the imaginary ball in the air either which was more strange. Somehow he would miss then get frustrated, then walk up to the imaginary pitcher and discuss how to pitch to the next guy.
Jagger slept with a baseball glove until he was about 4. If we left the house without we would suffer greatly
By the time Jagger was 2 he could tell you the names of every player on the Angels.
By the time he was 3 he knew the batting order and the players' positions.
One day I came home to find Jagger crying. I asked what was wrong and to my surprise he was crying because Benji Molina had been traded to the Giants.
He knows who is on the D.L., how they got injured and when they are due back.
He always knows who is the starting pitcher for the game on any given day.
He begins most sentences with "If I were Mike Socia I would..."
Every morning he wakes up and turns on Sports Center.
And for some reason Jagger prefers to watch the game through the bars of a catcher's mask.

A Game To Remember

2009-05-13T09:44:00.000-07:00

We played probably the best team in Jagger's division on Friday.
I know what you're thinking...Their 6 and they probably don't even care if hey win, as long as somebody's mom brings a good snack. You are right on sooo many levels but our coaches have been put down all season by complaining parents and it's to the point where the coaches don't even care anymore.
Friday we started the game in a funk as usual. The coaches were all going through the motions and by the second inning we were already down 8 to 0. With the Red Sox up by 8 one of our beloved coaches gave a pep talk to the boys. The best batter on the Red Sox got up to bat. He hits a ground ball to 3rd and Jagger feilds it and makes the throw to 1st for the out. We managed to get out of the inning and the Sox didn't score a single run.
We score a few at our at bat then we shut down the Sox in the 4th inning!
In the bottom of the 6th (our final inning) we are down by 2 with the bottom of our lineup coming up to bat.
We have a boy on first base and we ground out into a double play. We're all thinking this will be it. The Sox will get the 3rd out and we'll lose by 2 runs.
Out of nowhere, the boys who never really hit well and always ditch practice start hitting!
One of our coaches walks to the stands to tell our parents to start cheering these boys on (seems like common sense but they were speechless).
Now we are at the top of the order and boys on base. WE MIGHT ACTUALLY DO THIS!
With bases loaded one of our boy's who has struggled this year hits a walk off single to win the game.
The kids go crazy, the parents are screaming and for the first time in a long time there will be no complaint emails!
Josh and the coaches tell the boys how great they did while the team eats their well deserved snacks.
The coaches, all wearing their sunglasses to hide the tears of joy.
Every game should be like that.

Raising Boys

2009-05-06T09:03:00.000-07:00

I am willing to admit that I may not be the most qualified to give parenting advice but there are some things that just don't make sense.
But I digress...
We have boy on the team who was blessed with a baby sister about 3 months ago.
His mom NEVER comes to this boy's games because the new baby is too fussy, there are too many germs, mommy is too tired because of the baby, blah blah blah. This kid probably hates this baby now because he's been kicked to the curb now that this precious baby is in the picture. Who could blame the kid right?
This same child completely freaks out when he gets the smallest little scrape. I assumed it was the best way for him to get attention because after all, the new baby gets all the attention now.
Last night the boy was on his way to the outfield when he sneezed a couple times. No big deal, just a couple sneezes. Boy was I wrong! The dad yells to the players on the bench "somebody get ready to go in for my son! He's sneezing and he may have to be pulled out of the game!"
We have another child on the team who is a good player but he doesn't slide when he's supposed to. Coach Josh asks him why he doesn't slide to which he responds "My mom doesn't want me to get my uniform dirty".

I may not be an expert but there are a few things all boys need in addition to the basics (Basics being Jesus, food & water. Some of you may be thinking clothing & education also but most boys I know would do just fine in a world full of stupid naked people)

Boys need their mom to be their biggest fan
Boys need bumps and bruises
Boys need to get dirty

Singing Bee Update

2009-05-04T09:50:00.000-07:00

Well Saturday I went to Hollywood for round 3 of my audition for The Singing Bee (A.K.A. The Looking Stupid In Front Of Strangers game show).
There were about 1000 people who auditioned at the Stagecoach Country Music Festival in Indio and they only picked 25 to move on to the 3rd round.
This show is about your ability to remember lyrics NOT singing ability which is good because I'm guessing my rendition of "The Gambler" by Kenny Rogers would have been considered a horrible song choice by Simon Cowell. Anyway…I was sitting in the room and this girl walked in that looked familiar. I realized she was on American Idol last season. Her name is Mishavonna Henson. Why the heck would a former A.I. contestant what to do this game show, but SHE DID!
Here’s her picture for those of you who are AI fans and are dying to know who I am talking about…
After a while I went into yet another concrete room with no windows and played a mini version of the game show in front of a couple casting directors and a video taping guy.

This was a welcome change as I had spent 3 hours in a room with a casting director who couldn't seem to stop dropping names in transparent attempt to win cool points with the ladies.

He'd say things like "Lindsay and Paris are crazy party girls" WOW! I would have never known that if it weren't for your testimony and every gossip magazine at the grocery store! Please tell me more!!!!

So back to the show...

6 of us lined up in a row and the producer would play a song then stop it at some point. We would all raise our hands and the first one to raise their hand got to finish the lyrics. If that person got it wrong then you could finish it by being the first to raise your hand. I tried to give them what I knew they wanted…I cheered when I got one right…I was overtly bummed when I missed one.
The bad news is Joey Fatone won't host the show...The good news is Billy Rey Cyrus won't host the show either. Frankly, I'm keepin my fingers crossed for Kelly Pickler.
I'll know soon if I'm in or out.

Most of the people that got through at Stagecoach were drunk when they first auditioned so who knows how they did without the liquid courage.

The Best Mother's Day EVER!

2009-04-30T08:35:00.000-07:00

I love my husband! One of his best qualities is he makes me laugh though most of the time it's not intentional.

The following story will explain what I mean by that.

Josh has a Mother's Day "tradition" where he wakes up ON Mother's day around 6 A.M., wakes up the boys and drags them off to the grocery store to by me a card and flowers. After the first few years of forgetting to by me a gift he decided it was best to call it a "tradition".

Well, one Mother's day a few years back Josh got out of bed around 6, grabbed a pair of shorts and a shirt out of the dryer and drug the boys out to our the closest grocery store near our house to by the "traditional" morning of Mother's day flowers and a card.

Josh stood there with the boys looking at cards with the rest of the men in Huntington Beach who had forgotten to get their wives/mothers a gift. Josh was getting an occasional smirk from the other men standing at the card isle. Josh looked at Stephen and made some snide comment about how it was their "tradition" to buy something the morning of Mother's day but all the schmucks standing there had forgotten.

Josh came home, presented the bouquet of roses then walked toward the kitchen. As he was walking away from me I noticed something on the back of his shorts. I walked up to see what it was and noticed a pair of my underwear had stuck to the Velcro pockets on the back of Josh's shorts when he pulled them out of the dryer.

Those things were stretched from one pocket to another so there was no mistaking what they were either!

It was at that moment Josh realized why all the other men buying flowers and cards at 6 A.M. were laughing at him.

Roses for your wife on Mother's Day $20
A card for your wife on Mother's Day $3.50
Buying it all with your wife's panties plastered to your butt Priceless!

What Did I Get Myself Into?

2009-04-28T13:05:00.001-07:00

As some of you may know, my mom, Josh and I went to the Stagecoach Country Music Festival in Indio last weekend.

As we searched the vast expanse full of red necks wearing cowboy hats made of Budweiser boxes for a porta potty that didn't have a 3 mile line, we came across the audition tent for The Singing Bee which may return to T.V. on CMT (Country Music Television) this year.

Mom insisted I try out. As she begged, the casting guy started siding with her.

Against my better judgement I gave in.

First came the written exam.

I passed 16 out of 20

Believe it or not I don't know "Hit Me Baby One More Time" as well as I thought I did.

Believe it or not I know "Thank God I'm A Country Boy" a lot better than I thought I did! FRIGHTENING!

I move on to the "on camera" audition.

They play a couple tunes, when the music stops I complete the lyrics.

She shoots...she scores!

They tell me someone will call if I make it to round 3.

Well, someone called today! I am going to Hollywood! (I always wanted to say that)

The casting agency wants more video and some pictures to send to the producers. If I'm dorky or perky enough I just might be on the show (I feel sorry for Joey Fatone already).

This is my one shot to say or do something stupid on T.V. and I'm gunna take it.

This is Mandy Wright and I'm livin the deam!

Coaches Get No Respect

2009-04-23T16:19:00.000-07:00

As you all know Josh is managing Jagger's baseball team.
We have an anonymous person emailing and complaining about the coaching ability of Josh, his other 3 coaches, playing ability of the kids and the pitching abilities of the coaches (coaches pitch to the kids in this division).

Jagger's team is a group of 12 boys ages 5 to 6, half of which have never played baseball until this season. Many didn't know where first base was when we started the season.

The following email was the final straw and I thought I would share with my wonderful blog followers.

The player's names have been changed and I'm sure I will never be viewed the same by you all again. Contrary to popular belief, I do get angry at times and yesterday my claws came out.

This is the email our team mom received...

Team Mom,

I have a few suggestions I would like to have you send to your Coaches..
1. Start spending more time with other players instead of Jimmy and Johnny.. For spending so much time on these two they sure don't seem to be all that at the sport. They seem to mess your team up alot.
2. Also stick with one pitcher that can actually pitch to these kids and give them a chance. You are suppost to be boosting their spirits about the game not making them feel like they can't hit.
You can take or leave what I said but for the kids I hope you listen. Go JIMMY and JOHNNY

Now for my response...

Dear "Concerned Person",

Your email was forwarded to me and I am happy to respond to your concern but first I must pose a couple questions.

1. Do you make a habit of belittling the playing abilities of 5 and 6 year old children?
2. Did you realize that Jimmy is the team mom's son and she is extremely offended that would speak so ill of her child?
3. Did you realize that one of the pitchers who "can't even pitch to these kids" as you spouted in your email, is the team mom's husband?
4. Do you even have a child on this team or are you a parent sending anonymous emails because you are incapable of having an intelligent adult conversation?

Now to address your concern... If you would like to help coach these kids so they each have more one on one time with an adult, you are more than welcome to join the team and help out. If all you want to do is sit on the sidelines and complain then I suggest you just shut up.

If you would like to try your hand at pitching to the kids, please be my guest. Again, if all you want to do is complain about it then again, I suggest you shut up (do you see a theme here?).

Jimmy and Johnny are great kids who always do their best and they love baseball.

In life there are winners and losers.
Winners walk away learning something and always try to do their best.
Losers talk smack about children in anonymous emails to the team mom.

Sincerely,
Coach Mandy

My Favorite Number Is...

2009-04-22T11:44:00.000-07:00

Jagger and I were watching baseball on T.V. together when a player with the number 17 walked up to the plate.

Jagger said "17 is my favorite number!"

"Why?" I asked

"Because it makes me think of the color gold" he says...

Completely confused and intrigued at this point, I ask him why the color gold is so wonderful.

Jagger replies "Because the gold markers at school smell the best".

I learned 5 things that day.

1. Jagger's favorite # is 17 (which is an odd number to have as your favorite. 7 or 4 yeah, but 17?)

2. There is a method to Jagger's madness (which I will never understand)

3. Our children no longer just pick a number because they happen to like that number but rather strategically choose a number based on a deep connection to that number (blah blah blah)

4. Jagger sniffs markers as school (which explains a lot!)

5. Jagger should be kept far away from the glue!

Excuse Me???

2009-04-21T13:23:00.000-07:00

So my friend's husband works out of the country from time to time. My friend Francesca (I have changed the names in this story to protect the not-so innocent) is very social and outgoing. Francesca's husband is an engineer scientist type who likes things more quiet and orderly. Since the hubby is out of town, Francesca invited a few of us girls over for a girls night at her house. This works out well because Francesca gets to be with the girls and the hubby doesn't have to deal with it.
I'll supply the karaoke machine, there are probably going to be a couple chick flicks on had, and it is always very loud when we all get together. Not really the ideal situation for an introvert engineer so he is very glad to be gone while the house is taken over by cackling women.
When I got home last night Josh said he saw an evite from Francesca and asked if I was going to go and possible spend the night. I said I probably would just crash there so I didn't have to drive home late.
Little Jagger pipes up and asks me "Are you guys gunna have a pillow fight?" This question is promptly followed by a "Yeah Dawg! That's what I'm talkin bout!" from Josh.
Jagger probably didn't know what he was talking about and Josh is well...Josh.

Let's Raise The Bar Shall We???

2009-04-14T22:18:00.000-07:00

Saturday I spent quality time with the children boiling eggs and helping the kids make a mess of my kitchen with egg dye. Not that they needed my help making a mess of my kitchen but I helped none the less.
Sunday comes and Josh is in charge of hiding the eggs. We close the curtain to the back yard and let Josh find clever little hiding spots in the yard. We have lots of bushes, flowers and grass, all of which are perfect for egg hiding.
The hunters are 6, 8 & 14.
I peak out the widow and see eggs in plain view in the middle of the yard!
This could only mean 1 of 2 things...
1. You think your kids are so stupid they can't find an egg in the yard if they laid it themselves or..
2. You don't want to find out that your kids are so stupid they can't find an egg in the yard if they laid it themselves
To make matters worse Josh decides to pose for a picture next to every egg in the yard! He did everything short of point and jump up and down at every egg he "hid" in the yard.
I tell Josh that he could have hidden the eggs better to make it more of a challenge for the little ones. The kids were finding the eggs so fast I didn't have time to take pictures for cryin out loud!
My wonderful husband assured me there were 3 eggs they would never find because he found the best hiding spot of all...He kept them in the egg carton on the back yard table. Who would look in the carton the eggs came from.
Josh's parenting style is simple.
Set the bar very low and you'll never be disappointed.
The kids did find all the eggs in record time after all...

Thumbs Are Good

2009-04-07T09:30:00.000-07:00

I slammed the tip of my right thumb in my sliding glass door on Friday morning.
I miss having my old thumb and I have compiled a short list of daily tasks that are harder now that I am injured.

1. Zipping your pants requires full use of your right thumb
2. Typing is much harder these days as I have to remember to push the space bar with my left thumb.
3. accessorizing an outfit requires use of both thumbs for clasping necklaces, watches, earrings etc.
4. Tweezing eyebrows has been virtually impossible since my incident.
5. Operating the remote control...horribly painful these days.

I urge you not to take your precious thumbs for granted.
(Ouch! I used the right thumb on the space bar that time)

Probably Not a Good Idea Grandma

2009-04-02T22:34:00.000-07:00

My mother...

When I was little (around 4 or 5) my mom would watch The Twilight Zone which would freak me out. Then after the episode was over she would send us to our rooms for a nap. I could NEVER fall asleep because every time I closed my eyes I would see images of the freaky things that I had seen on the show. The sight of those people with their noses taped up to look like pig snouts haunts me to this day.

In the summer of 1998 we went to Universal Studios. We were in line to see Back Draft which was full of fire and explosions. My mom has a large burn scar on her arm from when she was a child so what does she do??? She convinces a boy in line with us that she got the scar from the last time she came to see Back Draft. She shows him the scar and he turns white.

Fast forward to 2009.

Mom is off the week of spring break so she wants to plan something fun with the grand kids. She's thinking Queen Mary tour and maybe the aquarium. So far it sounds good until she shows me the haunted Queen Mary tour and tries to convince me the boys would have fun.

I know my mother and she will totally mess with the boys' heads the entire time then send them home to have nightmares in MY house.

Would it kill her to knit and bake cookies?

Think OUTSIDE The Box

2009-03-30T07:54:00.000-07:00

This weekend we had our friends from the High Desert come up and stay the night with their 2 kids. Sarah, Josh and I went to Jr. High together. Josh and Sarah had even attended the same preschool! When we all get together it's kind of like Jr. High all over again minus the big hair and acne.
We decided to play Cranium Saturday night. Josh and I were on a team and Sarah and Thomas were on a team.
If you have never played this game, it's part charades, part Pictionary (sometimes you draw with your eyes closed), and part name that tune (you have to humm a song and your teammate guesses).
Our turn came and the card we pulled was a drawing "Pictionary" type category. Josh was the artist and I guessed. The hint...A Band.
Josh began drawing a stick figure with a sitar and I have no idea what band this could possibly be. I am guessing...he's drawing more stick people...Josh yells "C'mon Mandy you HAVE to get this!!!"
Finally time ran out.
The answer????
PEARL JAM
Did Josh draw a pearl or a jar of jam...NO...he draws stick Eddie Vedder with what looks like a sitar and expects me to figure it out.
I managed to act out Ticker Tape Parade and get Josh to guess THAT before the timer ran out.
We have decided next game night we'll get a sports trivia game so we have a chance at winning.

I Can't Keep Up

2009-03-27T15:19:00.000-07:00

Baseball is upon us.
I have 2 boys
In 2 different leagues
Playing in 2 different towns
BUT ON THE SAME DAY!

I leave work at 4, run to see the 1st hour of Jagger's game at Mile Square Park.
I leave that game at 5:30 to watch the last hour of Stephen's game at Huntington High.

Josh and Jag had dinner together somewhere. Stephen and I had dinner together separately and I got home just in time to catch Josh in the driveway as he was leaving for work.

Then I had a minor breakdown over a beautiful Sugarland Song and realized my kids are growing up too fast, I can't slow life down or stop these kids from growing up too fast.

I know one day I'll miss running around to baseball games with my boys.

Bad Day At Work

2009-03-17T15:52:00.000-07:00

So yesterday I got a bit if a "bad stomach" (that's P.C. for flaming diarrhea).
I thought I would die. I had to make the long trip to the restroom about 50 times. There is a long walk down the first isle of my office (lined with cubicles full of friends who want to chat), then make a left, then a long walk down another hall to the restroom.
Every time I went to the restroom I prayed that I wouldn't let one go or mess my pants.
I wanted to go home so bad but I wasn't sure I would make the drive without a "mishap" so I just stayed at work (I know..I'm a trooper).
I had moments in the bathroom where I hid in the stall full of shame for what I had just subjected my coworkers to. I felt the need to apologize or explain the horrible noises coming from my stall. We all try and act like nothing happened when we hear questionable noises coming from the neighboring stall but who are we kidding? The least I could have done was say "Sorry about that folks!" even My Bad! would have sounded better than the awkward silence followed by 3 courtesy flushes.
I kept telling myself "Mandy! You should have brought some bathroom shoes with you!"

Sad But True...

2009-03-11T21:50:00.001-07:00

Many of the clothes in my closet were placed on a conveyor belt in order to purchase them
It was a sobering realization.
My only consolation is there is probably some stimulus money set aside for people like me.

Let's Go Yankees Let's Go!

2009-03-10T08:38:00.000-07:00

Josh is managing Jagger's baseball team this year which is coach pitch.

We have 3 sets of parents eager to help out whenever we ask, then we have another group that is eager to talk crap about every child on the team with the exception of their own of course.
Since we are short on helpers, I was lucky enough to be bench coach for Jag's game yesterday.
I was literally locked in a cage with 12 six year old boys armed with bats, helmets and water bottles. Somehow I managed to keep the chaos to a minimum and lose my voice screaming for the boys in pinstripes.

One boy wet his pants just before the start of the game, 2 kids got hit in the nose with the ball and 1 kid got hit in "the nethers".

It was the best of times it was the worst of times...

I am finally getting to know the boys' names so now the boy formerly known as "the one who's mom had a baby on Thursday" is called "Timmy" and the boy known as "kid who stands ON home plate facing the pitcher when he gets up to bat" is now called "Bobby".

But I digress...

We had a pizza party on Friday and after Josh and I left the complainer parents began to do their thing.

We lost our first 2 games and that of course means the coach sucks right! One parent actually said "I wish we had a more complete team". Now, if you mean complete as in a team who keeps their pants completely dry I agree but I don't think that's what he meant. Another parent is constantly complaining LOUDLY in the stands that we need a better pitcher (remember this is coach pitch so you have a grown man volunteering to throwing the ball at small children with a 2 inch strike zone). Our team mom asked "complainer dad" to volunteer to pitch or umpire a game but he refused to help (typical!). The same day we got an anonymous email (chicken) telling us to bench one kid who is a little hyped out so we can win some games. Great idea buddy! Our mantra can be "Win if you can...lose if you must but ALWAYS CHEAT!"

Josh made it clear that he (unlike some other managers) will always play by the rules and let all the kids play ball in the infield and outfield just like the rules mandate. Some managers stick the less capable players in the outfield the entire game and Josh will not do that. They need to learn at this age.

Yesterday we won! The kids looked great, Josh walks on water as far as the parents are concerned and we did it all by the book.

For those of you interested in watching a game they are at Mile Square Park on the Brookhurst side. You can find the schedule by clicking here. Look for the Yankee games.

The Doctor Visit

2009-03-02T21:05:00.000-08:00

Stephen was very sick about a month ago so we took him to the doctor.
The pediatrician gave Stephen some medicine then advised us he was in need of a physical and booster shots.
Today was the big booster shot/physical day and this was a perfect opportunity for Stephen to get a few laughs out of the medical office staff.
Stephen is 14 years old, about 5'7" and he's been shaving for about 1 year. Stephen no doubt feels weird walking into a doctors office with Disney characters on the wall but that's where you go when you're 14 so you might as well make the most of what could be your last visit to your pediatricians office.
Josh works nights so he and Jag took Stephen to his doctor visit. The Wright boys were out alone without my supervision which is never a good thing.
The doctor checked the usual...ears, nose, throat, then the doctor warned Stephen (and his audience) that she would now be "checking things down below". Josh and Jag covered their faces with a piece of paper and a book and giggled like little girls until they were told it was OK to look. One would think that a father would have taken this time to explain why the doctor would check things down there but Josh decided it was good to make a good weenie joke out of it.
The doctor then sent in a nurse to administer 6 shots. Stephen got his shots and proceeded to jokingly scream like a girl every time he was poked. He threw out a "PLEASE MAKE IT STOP" and a "NOT ANOTHER ONE!!!" then begged LOUDLY for a lolly pop or something to make the pain go away. The nurse is toward the end of her pregnancy and couldn't stop laughing. Pregnant ladies laughing uncontrollably is a sketchy thing at best but Stephen rolled the dice and the nurses bladder stayed in tact.
Finally on the way out he stopped to give a urine sample. As he handed the specimen to the male nurse waiting outside the bathroom door he gave a slick little snap, wink, point combo and said "Good luck with that!"
I'm now waiting for the letter from his pediatrician to advise me he's ready for the big people doctor now.

PROJECT TIME! (Part Deux)

2009-02-28T09:22:00.001-08:00

Stephen is 14 so thus the funky 80's checkered Vans inspired headboard.
We had fun creating something "custom" on the cheap.

PROJECT TIME! (Part 1)

2009-02-28T09:05:00.000-08:00

As some of you may know, I have been in project mode lately and you have kindly asked to see pictures.
Well here goes...
I painted my kitchen a "Nutmeg" color with a partially used gallon of paint found at Habitat for Humanity Restore.
I have a little bar the kids eat at which didn't really match once I painted the walls so I chipped out the old tile and found moseic tiles at Habitat for Humanity for $1 per square foot making the total cost for paint, supplies and tile $17!

THE TILE CHOICE

FINAL RESULT

It kinda has a retro 70's funky vibe which is what I was going for.

Hidden Treasures

2009-02-28T08:45:00.000-08:00

I took Friday off because Jag was sick. He stayed home from school with me (against his will...Why would a school give an attendance award if they don't want sick kids to come to school??? Just askin!) Jag was much better by the afternoon which meant my day was part good mommy snuggle time and part cleaning maniac.
I decided to tackle the car...
We have 2 cars but we pretty much only drive our small car because Josh works the night shift so when he gets home from work in the morning I drive that car to work. Our other car is a GAS HOG too so as a result our "little car" is used and abused.
Jag helped me change the burned out tail light because Jag, much like his mother, takes every opportunity he can to break out the tool belt.
Jag, being the little helper he is also volunteered to vacuum for me while I tried to figure out what the heck was in the bottom of the cup holders in the car . Jag "compact" and can get into those tight spaces easier than I could so he was hired to vacuum.
When I opened the back seat I was mortified! I never look in the back seat, never sit in the back seat, and I try to forget the back seat even exists.
At work we go to a Mexican restaurant every Thursday and I usually drive the 4 of us there.
I can't believe my co-workers volunteered to sit in that filth! I can't believe they ASK ME to drive not knowing what may lurk within my back seat this week!
I paid Jag $5 for doing such a good job vacuuming and later found out he had gathered about $3 in change he found in the car while helping. $8 isn't bad for a 6 year old in this tough economy. He might want to think about keeping this gig.
So now I want to take this moment to issue a public apology to all who have ridden in, sat or thought about sitting in my back seat. I seriously had no idea it was that bad.

Don't You Judge Me!

2009-02-24T14:49:00.000-08:00

I was at Ikea with my mom today using one of those self check out machines.
I have to commend Ikea on their customer service. Not unlike most stores, Ikea has a system designed to help you out if you have a problem with your self check out machine. The light at the top of the station flashes red, but unlike the competition with the same technology the Ikea people rush to your assistance.
Today my light flashed red today (as usual) and the nice Ikea lady rush over to help me fix the problem.
As she rushed over she gave me this look like "Oh my gosh you farted!!"
I didn't appreciate the look she gave me so I gave her a weird look back.
Yes, I may have farted in line at Ikea but I sure didn't need her look of contempt!
How was I to know she would rush over so fast?

Just So You Know...

2009-02-23T09:46:00.000-08:00

Just so you know...
When you spend a night out with your girlfriends your husband is always invisioning half naked chicks pillow fighting.
One might be offended by that, however I take it as a compliment because that means my friends and I are all hot enough to actually pull that kind of thing off.

WHY ME!?!?!?!?!?!?!

2009-02-19T09:35:00.000-08:00

Jagger had baseball practice yesterday then we all headed to pick up uniforms for the team at about 6 followed by a white trash steak dinner at Sizzler.
When I was pregnant with Stephen, I had a Malibu Chicken addiction and every so often I crave it again only to realize that thethings you crave when you are pregnant usually don't taste that great after you have the baby.
Jag was downing his steak then cleaning off Josh and Stephen's salad bar plates as fast as he could.
We came home, watched a little American Idol and Jag chugged a huge bottle of Gatorade. I kept telling him to stop drinking so much because I KNEW it would be a bad night if he didn't stop.
It never fails!
Josh leaves for work at around 9 PM then the Jagger Puke Fest begins around 10 PM (I tried to find "Rocky Horror Picture Show" font for this post but I guess it is called something different in word).
I pride myself on being a step ahead of my boys so after Jag fell asleep I put a water proof mat under his head "just in case". As I lay his head back down on the pillow and he sits up wondering what the heck is going on. Jag often gets a crazy/disoriented look about him when you move him in his sleep or try to wake him up. I didn't think much of it so I laid him back down on the mat.
Seconds later he sits up and I know it's coming...I grab him up off the bed and I am instantly showered in PUKE! Somehow I refrained from throwing Jagger across the room and running like a teenage girl in a Friday The 13th movie.
I take Jag into the bathroom where he showers it with chunks of steak (which I found he doesn't chew properly), french fries and Gatorade. The only spot that escaped the spew fest was the inside of the toilet.
I start the shower, throw Jag in and as any loving mother would do, tell him "I TOLD YOU NOT TO DRINK ALL THAT GATORADE!"
I curse my way down the hall to get a mop wondering how the heck Josh manages to escape these situations.
For a while I weighed the pros and cons of moving vs. cleaning the bathroom...I cried...cursed some more...then contemplated calling in sick the next morning (which I didn't because I would feel guilty).
Until the wee hours of the morning I slept on pins and needles worried that every sound was Jag puking again.
I have no choice but to feed that kid chicken broth and jello until he's able to keep his food down or clean up his own puke.

What A Trooper

2009-02-17T09:53:00.000-08:00

So in my previous post I discussed the "flower dilemma".
Josh read the loving and inspirational comments left by my good friends, he confessed that everything I said was true.
My husband is slowly beginning to realize that anything he says or does may be heard by many in my blog.
We had a great Valentines Day with the kids at Dave & Busters.
Thanks to the economy there are great deals to be had in the family entertainment world.
We each got a $16 dinner at D&B that included a $10 game card with each meal!
Josh and I planned our romantic little Valentines celebration on Sunday to avoid the crowds. We exchanged pet names such as "fart nocker" and "butt wad" over dinner because that's how we roll.
I sipped wine while Josh drank something pink (that always cracks me up).
We often try the "romantic dinner" thing then we realize we are bored to tears and we belong in a sports bar eating hot wings, not a fine dining establishment.
Sunday morning I went to church while Josh went to see Alley in an ice skating competition (Alley won 2nd place YAY!).
On the way home from the competition Josh called to let me know that Calla Lilies are SEASONAL...He had driven to a MILLION different florists to find them and they all LAUGHED AT HIM! He REALLY tried to get me my FAVORITE FLOWERS but The ONLY flowers he could find were CARNATIONS and DASIES and he sure won't buy those now that he knows they are CHEAP CRAP!
What a trooper!

Valentines Day Prep

2009-02-12T07:54:00.000-08:00

Valentines Day (or V.D. as I like to call it hehehe) is coming quick...Saturday Feb 14th to be exact.
While flipping though the latest grocery store ads, I pointed out a great deal on roses.
WOW! $10 for a dozen red roses. "It must be a Valentines Day special"(wink wink).
I like a good laugh every now and then so I ask Josh (hubby of 7 years friend for 20 years who should know this crap by now) "What is my favorite flower??"
The look of terror washed the color from Josh's face. I loved it!
I decided to throw the poor guy a bone and drop a hint. "Usually a woman's favorite flower was in her wedding bouquet...". He gave me a weird look and explained that the only flower names he knows are roses (everybody knows roses!) daisies and carnations.
It was at that very moment I realized, besides the worlds most common flowers my husband only knows the cheap crap flowers. GREAT!
After a few m0re minutes of concentration I could see the light bulb go off in Josh's head.
"GARGANCHUAS!" he shouts as if he just won the lotto.
"What the heck is a garganchua? Do you mean HYDRANGEA?" I ask.
"Oh yeah, I knew it was something like that" was his reply.
Long story short, the only flowers Josh could kinda remember were at the cake table. Why am I not surprised?
I drag him back to our vanity where I have a vase with 2 silk calla lilies in it.
"This is my favorite flower Josh."
"What the heck is that ugly thing?"
"It's a calla lily honey"
"Oh, I don't remember seeing those at our wedding"
"Um, you had one pinned to your jacket the entire night."

I knew this conversation would be funny which is why I asked the question in the first place.

I can't wait for my bouquet of carnations and dasies this year.

Do you ever think...

2009-02-10T22:06:00.000-08:00

We all have those days when we stop by Starbucks for a strong cup of java then about an hour later while at work you have to "make your mark" in the office bathroom.
Do you ever think...maybe I should bring a pair of bathroom shoes.
What are "bathroom shoes" you ask???
Bathroom shoes are shoes you bring in the bathroom for the sole purpose of concealing your identity.
If you change into your "bathroom shoes" nobody ever has to know who blew up the bathroom.
This idea originated in the mid 80's when I was the Heads Up 7 Up champion of Thompson Elementary School in beautiful Barstow California. As I type this Barstow is underlined in red. I guess spell check doesn't even recognize Barstow as a city.
Anyway...I would play this competitive rainy day recess game in my socks then quickly put my shoes back on right before the teacher called "Heads Up 7 Up!"
Move over Sham Wow! There's a new infomercial in town!

Bathroom Shoes (not available in half sizes)

Translation...

2009-02-05T09:07:00.000-08:00

During dinner last night the family was discussing frustration over something meaningless (I can't even remember what it was, that's how meaningless it was).

Jag puts his head in his had and says "Oy Vay!

I give him a funny look, not expecting to hear him say that.

Jag looks at me and says "Oy Vay is French for Oh My Gosh"

Invasion Of The Fanny Packs

2009-02-04T08:55:00.000-08:00

Stephen is an attention hog (no finger pointing please).

A few weeks ago he started wearing his dad's old Chicago Bulls jacket to school. I remember Josh wearing it proudly in Jr. High so it was kind of cool to see that jacket "in action" again.

In addition to the jacket Stephen has been sporting a black leather fanny pack. I thought this fashion statement would blow over quickly. I mean really...How long can a fashion statement consisting of skinny jeans, Converse All Stars, a rock star studded belt, "vintage" Bulls jacket and a fanny pack last?

Much to my surprise, a couple weeks ago at church Pastor Bruce used a black leather fanny pack as a sermon prop. I haven't seen a fanny pack in years and now I see 2 in 2 weeks?!?!

I hoped Bruce had mugged my kid on the way to Sunday School and stole that stupid black fanny pack. Maybe Bruce saw Stephen proudly displaying the fanny pack and thought "Wow! God wants me to use that fanny pack in my sermon today! May I use your fanny pack to preach the good word Stephen?".

Apparently God was not speaking to Bruce through Stephen's fanny pack but Bruce's own fanny pack and it also seems our pastor is above mugging teenagers at church.

Now comes the kicker...The "trifecta" if you will...A 3rd fanny pack sighting in 3 weeks.

Last night on American Idol there was a girl wearing a gold glittery FANNY PACK!!!

Is Stephen actually bringing back the fanny pack or is this some sick joke?

I'm scared to find out.

Not Your Typical Kiss Goodnight

2009-02-03T09:58:00.000-08:00

Last week Jag and Stephen got into it (I know what you're thinking..Not another Jag and Stephen Fight Club moment!!)
Stephen did something that sent Jag over the top so I sent Jag to his room and got onto Stephen.
Jag turned to me on his way down the hall with tears streaming down his face, a look of hate in his eyes and screamed "STEPHEN IS YOUR BEST CHILD!!!".
I was shocked! Not by what he said but by the choice of words he used. He didn't say "You love Stephen more than me" or "You hate me" but "Stephen is your best child!" Where did that come from?
I'm not sure if he was accusing me of favoritism or if he had just come to his own realization that Stephen is my best child (even if I had a "best child" I couldn't say it because then I would be a huge jerk...Right?).
I got down low and looked Jag in the eyes and told him that mommy doesn't have a "best child". In my head I thought "If I had a "best child" it wouldn't act anything like these two are right now!"
Now every night when Jag goes to bed I say "Who is by best child?"
Jagger replies with a grin "Stephen is!"
I then say "Yeah Jag! You got it right!" followed by a laugh and a kiss good night.
On my way out the door Jag will say"Mom!"
"What baby?" I reply.
"Dad's my favorite!"
Then I have to run to his bed and pretend to choke him while he screams "Help! Mom's gunna kill me!!!"

Building A Dream Team

2009-01-29T12:25:00.000-08:00

Josh is once again managing Jagger's baseball team.

Last weekend Josh and Jag sat and figured out their team choices for this season.

The final decision was
1. Angels (Hello!!!)
2. Red Sox
3. Yankees
4. Mets (I love David Wright and it would be so cute to see a mini Wright #2 on the field)
5. Nationals (That was a random pick and I have no idea why the Nats were in the running)

This year the returning managers draw numbers and get to choose the team logo they will proudly wear this season.

Last night Josh drew the number 5 which didn't look too good. He worried that all the good teams would be taken and they would actually be the Nationals.

As luck would have it the coaches who drew numbers 3 & 4 were a Cubs fan and a Dodger fan.
Long story short...Jagger is going to be a Yankee this year.

We are not Yankee fans but there is a certain sense of pride you get when daunting those Yankee pinstripes.

As soon as Jag found what team he was on he picked his number...25 because our beloved Mark Teixeira will be wearing a Yankee uniform this year (I tear up as I type this blog).

The draft strategy was much harder to come up with. Josh knew a lot of our players from last season went to another league or moved up a division. There was nobody on the list that we recognized.

Stephen in his infinite wisdom suggest Josh pick the kids with Hispanic last names. Don't get all "Mandy is prejudice" on me. The logic behind the suggestion was...Stephen has a Hispanic last name and he's a good ball player plus almost all of our favorite pro ball players are from the Dominican Republic.

The idea might actually work! Not to mention most of the white dads come to practice in a suite and think that we play baseball so everyone can have a good time not necessarily to win (Whatever!). Every time our team has lost a game and we give the kids that "at least we all had fun" line, the kids look at us like we are a bunch of morons. The truth is little Tommy was chasing after the ice cream truck when he was supposed to be on 2nd base and little Bobby was too busy holding his mommy's leg to catch the ball.

The season hasn't even really begun and I'm already exhausted.

But as long as we all have fun, that's all that matters right?

Confessions From The Bathroom Stall

2009-01-26T09:44:00.000-08:00

I sat in the stall and realize a hear a man's voice.
"What the heck!?" (I tend to say that a lot) "Did I actually go in the wrong bathroom?"
I start to think of a way to sneak out of the bathroom without anyone noticing.
I peak under the door and look around to see if I recognize the shoes in the bathroom but I don't see any shoes!
Maybe I was hearing voices in my head...Maybe I'm going crazy.
I realize after a few seconds that the jazz music that plays in the bathroom is actually a jazz radio station and the voice I heard was the radio announcer.
Awkward moment averted!

@&%$*!!!!

2009-01-15T08:54:00.000-08:00

I debated weather I should share my stories sometimes. I don't want to offend anyone but I have to believe I am not the only mother trying to raise God fearing Christian children with these types of issues.

I digress...

Stephen is my "instigator" for sure. He knows exactly what will set Jagger off and he enjoys watching his little brother get in trouble for getting out of control and retaliating.

Jagger being much younger feels the need to fight dirty because he is so much smaller than Stephen he knows if there is any shot at winning a fight the fight must be dirty. We often see Jagger "Hulk out" and turn dark green as his shirt starts tearing off his body.

Last night while out shopping for shoes the boys got into it....again. All I know is that while I was looking for a the right shoe size I hear Stephen start to giggle and Jagger has somehow ended up on the floor crying.

Embarrassed and VERY angry, Jagger turns to Stephen and yells as loud as he can A-- H*!3!!!

Jagger then looks at me with the fear of God in his eyes, begins sobbing uncontrollably and attempts to walk out of the store by himself.

All you could hear was the chirping of crickets and me gasping for air.

In the dead silence irrational thoughts begin to rush through my head...

Should I walk him around the store and ask people if they have seen this child's mother?
What is the best soap I can shove in his mouth that won't kill him but will make him wish he were dead?
If Bob from The Biggest Loser hadn't gotten so mad at that lazy woman on the treadmill Jagger never would have heard those types of words and non of this would have happened!
Can I get someone to stand in front of that security camera so I can beat my child in private?

The silence is broken by a giggle from Stephen followed by "DUDE...You are SOOOO in trouble!"

I drag them both to the check out counter by their ears and vow never to return to that store again.

I am starting to run out of stores at this point...

Say What?!

2009-01-14T09:20:00.000-08:00

I had an interesting conversation with my son last night...

Stephen: Walking toward me he asks "So did you mess up with those guys?"
Me: What?
Stephen: Did you mess up with those guys?! (with a more aggravated tone)
Me: I have no idea what you are talking about Stephen! What guys?
Stephen: Wait..What were we talking about?...Never mind.
Me: You just woke up after talking to me in your sleep didn't you
Stephen: Yeah, I think so...Goodnight Mom!

Stephen then turns toward the sliding glass door to go to bed. He almost runs into the sliding glass door before realizes his room is in the other direction.

Yes, I could have helped him to his room but I was curious to see how this thing played out.

I Heard That!

2009-01-13T09:22:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I stayed home with a cold.
As I sit at the computer to checking emails I feel 2 little eyes staring at me.
It's Jag. He asks if he can go on iCarly.com.
I tell him to wait a few minutes until I'm finished.
I then blow my nose as I have been doing the entire day.
Jag looks at me with disgust and says "I do NOT wanna see THAT!"
"Me neither" I reply.

My Dream Cast (maybe "dream" is not the right word)

2009-01-08T08:56:00.000-08:00

I updated my BFF Heather on the latest chapters of my "Mandy Tell All" book last night.
We were picking the cast for the subsequent romantic comedy which is sure to come following the enormous success from the book.
We have decided that my husband will be played by none other than Kevin James, Stephen will be played by Freddie Prinze Jr. and Jagger will be played by one of those kids on the sweet life of Zach and Cody. It might take both kids to play Jag cuz he's a little psycho at times and I'm sure there are child labor laws preventing children from acting psycho for long periods of time.
My character on the other hand is more difficult to cast. I have been told I look like Wynonna Judd. Seriously people...of all the Judd's do I have to be the chubby one with man problems? I resolve to think it's because I sing with my mother often and for a time I had long red hair...Oh, and I was chubbier at the time too. Wow! I guess I did look like Wynonna! Sadly I have not been compared to Ashley Judd since the weight loss but I would have to loose about 50 more pounds for that comparison and a possibly make a few visits to Dr. 90210.
You faithful readers know me probably more than you ever wanted to.
I know you have someone to play my character already in your head so just say it already. You may be basing your pick on personality or looks or both. That's OK. If you're thinking Queen Latifa right now, THAT'S OK! I happen to love her non nonsense attitude and great sense of style.
Other casting suggestions for my mom or the kids are also welcome. We haven't "inked" the deal yet.

You Will Be Missed

2009-01-07T09:18:00.000-08:00

Over the weekend I drove down Adams toward Brookhurst with my mom in tow. We passed by the empty Mervyn's building on my left. The familiar words came to mind "Mom, wanna stop by Mervyn's?" but those words I will never speak again.

Yesterday I paid homage to the departed retailer by wearing an entire Mervyn's ensemble including shirt, shoes and pants. I recalled the purchase of every piece of clothing like it was yesterday. $7 shoes on clearance, $20 pants, $10 top and all were suitable for work.

Oh how I will miss her clearance racks full of thrifty treasures to behold.

I will miss stopping by in need of a cute shirt for $10 to wear just because I feel like getting a new shirt today.

I will miss the occasional gift card at Christmas or my birthday.

I fear I may never purchase an entire business casual outfit for under $40 ever again.

Kohls snuck in like a thief in the night to destroy Mervyn's with Vera Wang clothing, then finished her off with a makeup and fragrance counter rivaling that of WalMart!

It sickens me!

A Little Piece of Heaven After Church

2009-01-05T08:59:00.001-08:00

Yesterday Josh decided to take us all out for a surprise after church.

Josh isn't very good at keeping a secret for very long.

For example;
One year, the day before Thanksgiving Josh came to work and gave me a diamond necklace he had bought me for Christmas. He couldn't wait. Once it was in his hot little hands he had to rush over and give it to me. He's the cutest!

Anyway... we got on the 405 North and drove into Long Beach.
Josh HATES L.A. County with a PASSION so I knew he was really going out of his way to give us a good surprise.

He would periodically glance at his map quest sheet he brought with him. Then he'd look around...then glance at the paper again.

He finally confessed "I think I missed the turn!"

We guided him to 730 Broadway and stopped in front of ROSCOE'S CHICKEN 'N WAFFLES!

The thought of Chicken and Waffles was scary yet intriguing.

If it's good enough for Snoop Dogg then it's good enough for me!

About 1 hour and 50,000,000 calories later we drove home. We all crashed on the couch with a fried chicken hangover.

Now I am sure there will be fried chicken and waffles in heaven.

Can I get a AMEN!

What Was I Thinking? Maybe I Wasn't Thinking...

2008-12-31T08:42:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I went to court.

I know you all are picturing me in an orange suite picking up trash by the freeway but I'm not really that exciting. I went to family court.

Family court sounds like there should be balloon artists, clowns and cotton candy doesn't it?

Wrong!

Children are not allowed in the court room, the walls are painted a drab gray, there is a man named Commissioner So-N-So sitting behind a large bench in a long black robe similar to the grim reaper. The atmosphere is a cold reminder of your failed marriage and broken family.

People often tell me I don't look old enough to have a 14 year old son. That's because I'm not. I got pregnant at 17. Yes, I was one of the many American teenagers that made up the teen pregnancy statistic in 1994. The Bristol Palin of my family you could say. I knew better but did it anyway.

After bitter fighting, many wasted hours in court, and thousands of dollars given to attorneys, Stephen's bio father quit contacting him all together when Stephen was 5. He made a half hearted attempt about 5 years ago but Stephen told him that he already has a dad (My husband Josh) that loves him and takes care of him. I know Stephen stuck it to him because he didn't want to get his hopes up only to be abandoned again.

Fast forward to yesterday at court. The D.A.'s office wanted to reevaluate the case since my order was about 10 years old. We go through exemptions, income/expenses etc.

I found out that Stephen has 3 half sisters and 1 half brother only one of which he has ever seen before. That makes Stephen 1 of 7 children total. I know what you're thinking...it sounds kinda ghetto. 1 of 7 sounds like master plan to become a welfare millionaire! That's what Stephen thought too so don't feel bad.

I came to realize all these years later that I still suffer the consequences of my poor choices. I tell Stephen the names and ages of his half siblings and sort of introduce him to this whole other family he knows absolutely nothing about. It's surreal.

The Mandy at 17 though we would live happily ever after and the Mandy at 32 is glad we didn't.

I hope my poor choices can help someone else make better choices in their own life.

God gives us a road map to guide us but the freedom to make our own decisions. He forgives us when we make the wrong decisions but he never said you wouldn't suffer the consequences for your disobedience and there is no time limit on your suffering either.

A Hurley Christmas

2008-12-30T09:33:00.000-08:00

I am looking though our family Christmas pictures and I realized it was a Hurley Christmas.

Don't go thinkin I'm droppin serious cash on my kids...I love them way too much to spoil them like that (you can use that line on your kids too if neccessary).

We hit the Hurley warehouse sale this year after a tip from my little brother.

$20 t-shirts were $10, $50-$75 sweatshirts were $25.

We really fooled those kids this year (I am now laughing in the infamous wicked witch of the west laugh).

Saying Sorry

2008-12-29T09:14:00.000-08:00

This Christmas the kids got Guitar Hero World Tour. We all love the game and I usually find a chore for the kids to do so Josh and I can play.
Much to my dismay, the high hat on the drums stopped working. I was only scoring like 55% because most of the songs on the beginner mode require the high hat! I was mad but I couldn't exchange it until the Christmas crazies weren't out shopping and returning anymore.
As our drum set sat behind a chair in the family room, we all became more and more frustrated. We all took turns looking around trying to see if there was some way we could make this thing work.
None of us as frustrated as Jagger. He got mad and lifted the high hat until it snapped off!
I WAS LIVID!!!
The long arm of the law pointed to his room where he was doomed to remain for days if I had my way. I walked back there with guns a blazin and made sure that he had the fear of God in his eyes by the time I left his room.
After about 30 minutes he was out on parole for good behavior. He walked up to me with tears in his eyes and said "Mom, go to my room. There is a note in there for you".
I walked in and saw the note which read, and these are the EXACT words on the note by the way..."sorry mom hears 5 bucks".
I saw the $5 bill laying on the floor below his letter. I know how much $5 is to a 6 year old and I was happy he was trying to repay me for what he had broken. I couldn't decide weather to laugh or cry to be honest.
I am in the process of finding a Best Buy that still has a Guitar Hero World Tour available so I can exchange mine.
The Wright family will be rocking out once again very soon!
By the way...I kept the $5 bucks. He's not getting off that easy!

The Meaning Of Christmas

2008-12-27T21:55:00.001-08:00

This Christmas season was not the norm to say the least.
My grandmother passed away on the 17th and we were so preoccupied with her final days and funeral arrangements that Christmas was the last thing on my mind.
Our Christmas Eve service was just what I needed to get me focused on the true meaning of Christmas.
After the service Josh, the boys, mom and I headed to Apple Valley to celebrate Christmas with our family.
The drive was long and the Christmas music was blasting.
I turned to the back seat to ask Jagger if he knew why we celebrate Christmas. He replied "Because we're not Jewish!" True, but not the answer I was looking for. It did however give us all a good laugh.
My cousin called me on the way up to the high desert and asked if we would all want to go caroling at the assisted living center and Alzheimer's center in Victorville. Without hesitation we all said YES!
At 10:30 on Christmas morning about 20 of us, including 6 kids under the age of 7, gathered to sing for the residents at The Stirling Inn. My aunt and uncle were dressed in full Santa & Mrs. Claus attire and took pictures with the residents.
Many of the residents don't see family at all for Christmas so we became their adopted family.
The Alzheimer's center was much more emotional for all of us. As we walked in there were 2 women coloring pictures of stockings and candy canes. You could see that they had all received a gift from the staff at the center which had been stuffed in a toilet paper roll and wrapped in paper with ties at each end. I remember giving gifts like that to my mom when I was in grade school yet these were grown adults and this was the extent of their Christmas gifts.
We sang to them and their faces lit up when they saw Santa walk in.
One woman asked if she could come with me to where ever I was going. Another asked my cousin what day it was. When she realized it was Christmas, she asked if her daughter was coming. Neither of us knew what to say.
On the way home Stephen told me that it was the best part of Christmas to make someone so happy by just singing a few songs. Stephen has such a tender heart for a 14 year old boy. He makes me proud every single day because of how kind he is to others.
Our intent was to bless those less fortunate but we were the ones who were blessed beyond measure.

Memories

2008-12-23T14:18:00.000-08:00

My mom grew up a tom boy and at the age of 17 she moved to L.A. with her twin brother Bill. My tom boy mother decided to follow my Uncle Bill to L.A. and go to, of all things, fashion school at F.I.D.M.

She had no plans of becoming the first 5'4" super model. She didn't attend fashion school because of her ability to think up amazing new fashion trends. No! My mom went to fashion school to get out of Barstow California. Can you honestly blame her? Barstow in the 70's was like...well...Barstow in 2008.

My mom did not graduate from fashion school but she did take away enough education to become a buyer and she learned take fashion risks.

Mom's willingness to try new things has been inspirational to many, including but not limited to the great 80's group Salt & Pepa (please note the hair style she is proudly sporting).

I Know...It's Been a While

2008-12-17T12:42:00.000-08:00

I have slacked on the blogs this week. Not because I don't love all of you but because Jagger has not been well.

I'll start by telling you that Jag throws up a lot.

Jag threw up over the weekend due to what I can only assume was the cookie binge he had over the weekend. I was busy with Stephen's birthday celebration and I didn't monitor how much he had been eating.

Sunday night Jag had stomach pains. He's only 6 so he doesn't explain the symptoms very well. I wasn't sure if it was cramping or nausea etc. Monday Josh took him to the doctor and a tummy x-ray was ordered. They wanted a stool sample and Jag was put on a lactose free diet. Jag hates his this diet and I am now realizing our family has a severe dependence on cheese.

Jag got his x-ray yesterday and we found he has a history of constipation. WHAT???
My boys are at an age where I am free from having to see their poop. Now my poor kid is on a daily laxative regimen like an 80 year old woman and I'm forced to check his poop. This is probably part of our cheese dependence too! GRRR

The only good that came out of it is the additional punishment option available.

If Stephen's teacher calls saying he won't listen in class then Stephen gets to collect the stool sample. It's my version of "Spare the rod, spoil the child" taken to a H.N.L. (Hole Nuthah Level). I am expanding on my long time "Rob A Bank With A Booger" theory. The theory is you can rob a bank with a booger because most people would do anything to keep you from wiping a booger on them. It's safer than a gun yet just as effective.

Birthday...Teenage Boy Style

2008-12-13T07:33:00.001-08:00

This is what happens when you let you let your son have his friends over for a birthday sleepover. 8 boys ranging from 13-16 spooning on your living room floor. The poor kid on the couch didn't even get a blanket. UGH Boys....

There are a few reasons I allowed this to happen.

Stephen turns 14 today (ouch for me...Yay for Steve-O!)
Josh turns 33 today (yes they share their birthday and yes I but them matching presents).
Since Stephen shares his birthday with his dad and his birthday is close to Christmas, It's hard to get a lot of family together this time of year to celebrate.

I always know each year that there are work parties to attend, shopping to do and there won't be one weekend in December that works for everyone. Stephen's friends however have all the time in the world so this year I let more boys spend the night than ever.
They all made lots of noise then they crashed around 2 A.M....After I come out yelling "I HAVE ALL YOUR HOME PHONE NUMBERS AND I'M NOT AFRAID TO USE THEM!" of course. After that I could hear an occasional fart followed by a chuckle but at least I could sleep through that.

What do you get from your friends on your 14th birthday you ask???

A guinea pig named Hector (not joking either). Hector lives in a box and now I have to buy a cage. Stephen's friends couldn't afford both I guess.
Skateboard wheels, trucks and bearings for which you have no deck to put them on.
Cash. Hopefully enough cash to complete the skateboard project.

Any tips on how to get the guinea pig/teenage boy stench out of the house?

NOOOOOOO!!!!!

2008-12-11T10:01:00.000-08:00

There are things in life that happen to people around you and you think "That would never happen to me!"

I try to be a good person and do the right thing. I drop change into the guitar cases of street performers, I say please and thank you, I do unto others, pray for the troops and shop at Habitat For Humanity Restore (the proceeds to toward Habitat for Humanity).

To spite all my good deeds it still happened.....I LOST ALL MY CELL PHONE CONTACTS!!!!

The humiliation of looking in your address book and seeing NOTHING is almost unbearable. I feel as if I have no friends, no family, nobody to call...ever.

This experience has helped me to realize that we no longer live in the days where you memorized your friends phone numbers. I realize that I have been calling people for many years and I have no idea what area code their phone is in.

I have a friend in Victorville which is clearly a 760 area code and just now I am finding out that her cell number has a 323 area code which is L.A. County. What kind of world do we live in where a 760'er or a 909'er can have a 323 or 714 number? I feel partly to blame. I did drop the 909 jokes when ever I could once I moved to the O.C. I wore my 714 number like a badge of honor. My purple heart earned by making it out of the I.E. with all my teeth and only 1 child.

I had to wonder, had my mockery cause people of California to assume false area codes in an attempt to convey a different image of themselves? Is this why the 909 came out with a 951 area code? This is all coming together now! I am ashamed of myself!

I beg of you my friends, stop the 909 jokes, I.E. jokes and other logistically motivated mockery before we run out of area code combinations in this great land.

And please, give me your phone numbers to replenish my contact list. I promise I will not mock your area code or question your intentions when your area code does not match your primary residence area code.

Ring Bearer Blunder

2008-12-08T21:59:00.000-08:00

My sister-in-law got married a couple of years ago. Jagger was the ring bearer and Allie was the flower girl which is the dream job of all dream jobs when you're 5.

I was a brides maid in the wedding and it was hard to fight back the tears as I watched the two walk up the isle together toward me holding hands. Jagger in his black tuxedo and Allie in her white gown were picture perfect and I was the proudest mom/step-mom you've ever seen...

My tears of joy turn to uncontrollable laughter as the unthinkable happens right before my eyes...

Notice the cute little children walking up the steps in our 1st photo. We will call this "Exhibit A". Jagger is covering his face with the ring bearer pillow because he is embarrassed by everyone giggling at how cute they are. Now because Jag is covering his eyes he steps on his sisters dress which enrages Allie because after all, this is her shining moment as a flower girl. The poor groom tries in vein to help them up the steps. The crowd begins to laugh as Jagger trips both himself and his sister. So what does Jagger do???

Notice our 2nd picture of a pillow sitting alone on a step. We will call this photo "Exhibit B". In a fit of rage, Jagger walks to his place and stand where he knows he's supposed to be. Jagger then hurls the pillow toward the crowd and sits Indian style on the stage for the rest of the ceremony.

My sister-in-law should have known better.
Only 10 months prior Jagger was in another wedding where he had diarrhea in his white tuxedo right after the ceremony and before the wedding photos were taken.

I know some of you may think I'm making this stuff up which is why I must now provide pictures to corroborate my stories.

Morning Cuddles

2008-12-04T14:48:00.000-08:00

Jagger is my little cuddle bear and quite possible the best cuddler in the world.

This morning at about 6 AM Jag gets up, goes to the bathroom, then crawls in bed with me and cuddles as close as he possible can.

In his quiet sleepy voices Jag says
"Mommy"
"What baby" I reply
"Don't breath ok!"

There went that sweet moment!

Free $15 Starbucks Cards

2008-12-03T13:45:00.000-08:00

Ladies and gentlemen of blogger world USA, I have once again been given a stack of $15 Starbucks gift cards to give to anyone who calls me for a personal insurance quote.

This offer includes, but is not limited to Auto, Home, Boat, Motorcycle & Motorhome quotes...The list goes on and on!

The only thing missing from this post is Cal Worthington and his dog Spot!

Call my office at 714.824.8361

Hurry! This offer expires December 17th!

Setting The Mood

2008-12-02T09:22:00.000-08:00

Music can really set a mood.

I listen to J.T. and Madonna if I am working out. I play Christmas music when I decorate. I play '80's tunes when I feel like dancing or having a good time with friends & I play country when I want that warm and fuzzy, fried chicken down home feeling.

Last night I discovered Stephen has put a twist on the idea of "mood music". He grabbed his ipod on the way to the bathroom. I asked why he needed to listen to music in the bathroom because, let's face it...it's kinda weird.

He said he's going to listen to Even Flow by Pearl Jam. His reasoning was as follows;
"What goes into the ears will travel to the mind. What is in the mind will travel through the body. All I want while in the bathroom is "Even Flow". Not too hard and not too soft."

Where exactly did I go wrong?

No...Good Morning to YOU!

2008-12-01T09:44:00.000-08:00

This morning my phone rang at about 7:30. It was my little brother who was waiting outside asking if he could come in.

He stores some of his classroom stuff at my house. I guess there was an urgent matter that could only be resolved with something he had piled up in my garage.

I was was without a bra, wet hair and only one eyebrow had been painted on.

I bet he won't be stopping by that early anymore.

Old Fashion Christmas

2008-11-25T09:06:00.000-08:00

One Christmas when I was about 10 or so, we had an "old fashioned Christmas". This was a complete surprise to my brother and I. My Mother never discussed it before Christmas day. We had no idea we were having an "old fashioned Christmas" until we ran to the fireplace, tore through our stockings only to find apples, oranges, and walnuts. I looked at my mom waiting for a punch line of some sort only to see her smiling back at me with a "TA DA!" expression on her face similar to that of a magician's assistant. I couldn't help but think my mom had completely lost it!

My mother always likes to change things up. Once we took a surprise flight to San Francisco just because she thought it would be cool to wake us up before dawn, get on a plane and not tell us where we were going. We could have been running from the police for all I knew.

Now back to the "old fashioned Christmas".

The economy was suffering much like it is now but as a kid you have no idea what an economy is. Why does the economy suffer? Does it cry when it suffers? My mom was a widow at the age of 29. My father passed away when my brother and I were 5 & 6 so we were always a little strapped but we didn't really know it. We had food, clothes, a home and a large family that helped each other out.

It wasn't until I was an adult that my mom confessed we were broke and she couldn't get stocking stuffers. Believe it or not, I was happy to find that my mom was broke and not insane.

My boys have herd the "old fashion Christmas" story several times. Not a year goes buy when we don't laugh about it. I could only imagine the look on our faces and the hurt in my mother's heart that morning.

Now, every time the boys ask for toys before Christmas I tell them "OK. I'll buy that for you now, but that means we'll have an Old Fashion Christmas this year."

It works every time!

Let The Decorating Begin

2008-11-24T10:39:00.000-08:00

Jagger spent a good part of the weekend begging me to get our tree out and start decorating.
I know I will loose some good friends for confessing this but....we use a fake tree. Since I'm the one who cleans up after the tree I get to choose between fake or real.
Usually the boys watch football in the same room I am decorating in and every year they claim they "helped" me decorate when actually they just happened to be in the same room. There was no HELPING of any kind going on. I know every year that the boys don't help because they are in protest of the evil, demonic fake tree.
This year Jagger broke from the pack and was itching to decorate. I got the tree down, he helped me straighten branches, hang ornaments, plug in lights, the whole 9 yards. The bottom half of the tree was crowded with ornaments. He would hang 3 or 4 on a single branch then I would go behind him and rearrange them so they were spaced evenly.
As we get closer to finishing I hear Jagger talking to himself. Then I realize he is pretending he is a sports announcer on ESPN. Jag starts shouting "Jagger hangs a gold one!". I can hear the crowds roar in my head. "Jagger is hanging some in the back now!"...."The Wright Family has won the tree decorating contest!!!"
I guess he was so used to watching a game while I decorated he had to improvise.

Vaseline

2008-11-21T11:48:00.000-08:00

One day Stephen had chapped lips so his Dad told him to go get the wonder goo known as Vaseline to put on his lips. If something is burned, itchy or chapped, you go get Vaseline.

Jagger being the wise 6 year old he is said "Vaseline is for lips and butts and that's all! Right Mom?". Later he told me that you shouldn't put Vaseline on your butt before you put it on your lips.

Let this be a warning to all of you.

Hide your Vaseline when Jagger comes to visit!

The Big Debate

2008-11-19T10:31:00.000-08:00

Last night while watching Dancing With The Stars, Julianne Hough made her T.V. debut as a country singer. I told Stephen she should have been singing "What A Feeling" from the movie Flashdance since she is a dancer after all.

This brought our conversation to a HUGE debate Josh and I had a few years ago.

Now as you read this story, keep in mind my husband is much like Kevin James' character Dough Heffernan on the show King of Queens. The debate played out much like a lost episode of that show.

Josh and I were singing the popular Flashdance song "What A Feeling" one night. I have no idea why but we sing random 80's songs together often. When it got to the part "Take your passion and make it happen" Josh sang "Take your pants down and make it happen". We laughed thinking he was trying to be funny but he was totally convinced those were the words. I told him it's "take your PASSION and make it happen" to which he replied "Take your PASSION down? That makes NO sense!". Josh then began singing his version again complete with pelvic gyrations which I assume were meant to validate his point. "Nobody is taking anything down Josh" I replied..."It's TAKE YOUR PASSION!"

As I write this I have tears rolling down my face from laughter.

I am going to get in soooo much trouble for this blog but it's totally worth it.

Preparation is Key!

2008-11-18T15:39:00.000-08:00

As many of you know I am a personal insurance agent. I have been getting many calls from clients and friends asking for advise on how to best prepare for a home fire.

Often we resort to the coulda, shoulda, woulda reactionary method which is obviously not the best approach.

Make sure your home policy limits are high enough to rebuild your home. Many who lost homes in the fires do not have enough insurance money to rebuild their home and most companies will not give you the cash value of the policy. The fine print in your policy says "It is the policy holder's responsibility to know the actual cost of construction for the home insured on this policy". I am happy to help you with this if you need me.
Make a videotape of the items in your home and store in a location away from your home. Go through your garage, closets, etc. and make a record of all your belongings. When you need to itemize the things you lost in a fire, you will be glad you had a "memory jogger" to help. How could you possibly remember everything you had in your house without a tool to help you along.
Keep copies of all your important documents away from your home. Birth certificates, marriage certificates and copies of tax filings for the last few years will be extremely helpful to have after a fire. I recommend keeping copies at a friend or family members home but also keep a PDF copy on a file in your email. That way you can access them quickly from any computer.
Sit and think about what would be the most important things you would need if you were evacuated then make a list. People grab the strangest things when they are in a panic. Having a list will help you feel in control of the situation and you will be better prepared for the situation if it ever happens to you.

That is my professional advise for what it's worth. I could go on and on but that would be boring.

I'm also happy to get quotes for you. Tis the season to save money...

He's Still a Little Boy

2008-11-14T09:50:00.000-08:00

Last night our choir rehersal ran about 45 minutes later than usual. I sent a text message to Stephen to go hang out with his little brother after youth group ended but he had already gotten a ride home with a friend.

As I walked to over to pick up Jagger, he and the babysitter were waiting anxiously for me.

Jagger run up and threw his arms around me. Poor Jag had been crying because we had taken too long and all the other kids had already left.

It's nice to know he's still my baby boy.

What a Morning!

2008-11-13T11:06:00.000-08:00

This morning Stephen had Surf Club. Josh works the night shift so he usually picks Stephen up on the way home from work. Today Josh ran late and he is also sick so I had to get Jag and I out the door by 7:15 to get Stephen. We pick up Stephen, rush home, I hop in the shower then rush Jag to school with we hair.

Our conversation on the way to school
Jag: "Why isn't Stephen going to school?"
Me: "Well Jag, Daddy washed Stephen's clothes but never dried them. Now Stephen has to wait for them to dry."
Jag: "Mom, Is this a really bad morning?"

Apparently Jagger has never experienced a "bad morning" until today.

Memory

2008-11-11T09:08:00.000-08:00

Jagger and I played the good old fashion game Memory last night. We spread the little cardboard pictures all over the table, flipping them over two at a time to try and get a match. Jag was the victor and I was not.
This morning as he was eating his toast, he ran in with his crust in hand. He said "Look Mom it's the letter L! L for LOSER like when you played Memory with me last night!"
Did he really need to go there?

Could You Knock First???

2008-11-06T08:50:00.000-08:00

Jagger usually fixes his hair and brushes his teeth in my bathroom every morning. He gets ready in stages, usually brushing his teeth first, then he'll come back and flat iron his bed head (he's a vein child), and then he'll come back again to check himself out one more time before we leave for school.
Well, yesterday he barged in as usual but this time I had not gotten dressed yet. My first thought was "That poor kid will be scared for life". I yelled "THAT'S WHY WE KNOCK BEFORE WE GO IN MOMMY & DADDY'S BEDROOM!" My sympathy for my son soon turned to anger and shock when I hear Jagger mumble under his breath "WOW, I had no idea your butt was so big".
He's lucky to be alive.

Change

2008-11-05T09:18:00.000-08:00

The big buzz word of the last few months has been "change". Change is good and sometimes hard to accept but it will happen and we can only accept and embraced it.

As Americans, we look at the greed in Washington and Wall Street with shame, but have we ever truly looked at the greed in our own homes that mirrors that which we despise?

I commonly see my American brothers and sisters complain about the greed of Washington or Wall Street and turn right around to purchase a car they really cannot afford or a T.V. using credit, all in an attempt to make others jealous or create illusion of happiness which apparently comes from the size of your car or T.V. The mentality that says "I want it and I will get it any way I can" has created a credit monster that is now being blamed on the government. Government allowed this to happen, which cannot be denied, but just because it's allowed does not mean it's the right thing to do. We blame Government for our poor choices however I doubt you would rather have government make every little financial decision for you.

Trust me when I tell you I have first pointed the finger at myself. I spent a great number of years buying my happiness trying to look cool. My hope is for others to learn from my mistakes for a truly wise person learns from the mistakes of others.

These are tough times that have mostly been brought on by our own greed. The real change needs to begin in our own homes and hearts. The only change I can control is personal change.

OK I'm done!
My next post will be strange or funny.

Kids and Dogs

2008-11-03T15:35:00.000-08:00

I was visiting my Grandma this weekend in Apple Valley. My cousin was there with her 3 girls and all the great-grand kids/cousins were having a blast playing together in the back yard. My cousin looks out the window toward the children and says "UH OH!". I immediately think one of the kids is hurt. Thankfully everyone was fine except her 3 year old decided to drop trout in her pants instead of missing out on the fun with her cousins.
My cousin cleans everything up and leaves the soiled panties in the bathroom while she goes to get a bag to put them in. Now Bear is my Grandma's dog. I always hear about what a great dog he is and now I understand why he sits high on such a high pedestal. As I walk around to the back of the couch I see Bear "cleaning" the soiled panties.
How do you train a dog to do laundry anyway?

Sometimes I wonder...

2008-10-27T09:48:00.000-07:00

This weekend I was belssed to work with our tech team at church. We sit through 3 services and pay close attention so that the sermon slides come up at the right time, the lights look right, etc.
By the 3rd service I get a little punchy up there and my mind begins to wander a bit. I know what you are thinking, and YES, my mind is always wandering but yesterday more than usual.
As the sermon was complete the pastor wanted to share a few things in the bulitin with us. I think if I were to point something out, it would have to be 1. Turn off your cell phone and 2. We have child care and childrens programs.
It seems every service I sit in, there is a cell ringing (usually at the quietest point of the service) and there are kids sitting around who are obviously bored to tears. What gets me is there are kids their own age in a class playing pool or ski ball & having a great time. But these kids are stuck with their parents in "big people church". It never ceises to amaze me. When Jagger graduated from the preschoolers class to the k-2nd class he didn't want to go because like most people he didn't like change. I wasn't about to give in and spend my time in church making sure he sat quitely and take him to potty every 15 minutes. Jag loved the new big kid class after the first visit and realized he had nothing to be affraid of. Sometimes kids have to try new things against their will.
That's life.

The Boys Room

2008-10-21T22:17:00.000-07:00

I am blessed with boys that do not leave the seat up. Instead they leave it down which means I often feel the need to put caution tape across the bathroom doors.
Today was one of those days when I should have used the restroom before I left work but I was so anxious to get home I decided to tough it out.
I finally pulled in the driveway and bolt to the bathroom to find SOMEONE has apparently been multi-tasking while peeing.
Maybe I should have kept him in a diaper till he could clean a toilet!

Secrets

2008-10-20T09:33:00.000-07:00

Friday morning I was getting the boys lunches out for school and I noticed a bag of carrots and celery I had bought earlier in the week. I always forget about the things in the crisper and usually I cannot recognize them by the time I pull them out.
The carrots and celery reminded me of a recipe I used to make all the time when Stephen was little before Josh and I got married. It's chicken with carrots & celery over white rice with a sour cream gravy. Sounds like a good fattening, comfort food kind of meal right? It is perfect for a chilly fall dinner and not too hard to make.
As I begin cooking, all the boys start asking what I'm making. I've been in a cooking rut lately so they were cautiously optimistic about this new and exciting dinner.
Dinner was finally served and it was gone in 60 seconds! The crowds roared! They were begging for more (ok...slight exaggeration). I had a June Cleaver moment minus the pearls and heals.
This left Josh asking if there are any other dinners I have been keeping from him. I replied with a wink "never ask a lady to reveal her secrets"