Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Yesterday I went to court.

I know you all are picturing me in an orange suite picking up trash by the freeway but I'm not really that exciting. I went to family court.

Family court sounds like there should be balloon artists, clowns and cotton candy doesn't it?

Wrong!

Children are not allowed in the court room, the walls are painted a drab gray, there is a man named Commissioner So-N-So sitting behind a large bench in a long black robe similar to the grim reaper. The atmosphere is a cold reminder of your failed marriage and broken family.

People often tell me I don't look old enough to have a 14 year old son. That's because I'm not. I got pregnant at 17. Yes, I was one of the many American teenagers that made up the teen pregnancy statistic in 1994. The Bristol Palin of my family you could say. I knew better but did it anyway.

After bitter fighting, many wasted hours in court, and thousands of dollars given to attorneys, Stephen's bio father quit contacting him all together when Stephen was 5. He made a half hearted attempt about 5 years ago but Stephen told him that he already has a dad (My husband Josh) that loves him and takes care of him. I know Stephen stuck it to him because he didn't want to get his hopes up only to be abandoned again.

Fast forward to yesterday at court. The D.A.'s office wanted to reevaluate the case since my order was about 10 years old. We go through exemptions, income/expenses etc.

I found out that Stephen has 3 half sisters and 1 half brother only one of which he has ever seen before. That makes Stephen 1 of 7 children total. I know what you're thinking...it sounds kinda ghetto. 1 of 7 sounds like master plan to become a welfare millionaire! That's what Stephen thought too so don't feel bad.

I came to realize all these years later that I still suffer the consequences of my poor choices. I tell Stephen the names and ages of his half siblings and sort of introduce him to this whole other family he knows absolutely nothing about. It's surreal.

The Mandy at 17 though we would live happily ever after and the Mandy at 32 is glad we didn't.

I hope my poor choices can help someone else make better choices in their own life.

God gives us a road map to guide us but the freedom to make our own decisions. He forgives us when we make the wrong decisions but he never said you wouldn't suffer the consequences for your disobedience and there is no time limit on your suffering either.
posted by World of Wright at 8:42 AM |

5 Comments:

At December 31, 2008 at 10:34 AM, Blogger Bits from Bonnie said........
Very well said! I think that the new High School required class should be one semester in family court to see how serious decisions can affect you later in life. Unfortunately, not all young girls who walk that path end up being such a great mom who is very smart and beautiful like you have!
 


At December 31, 2008 at 12:00 PM, Blogger Heidi said........
Thank you for sharing your story Mandy.... You've done great with your boys - your mom is right; you're a great mom!
 


At December 31, 2008 at 1:35 PM, Blogger Kristi said........
I never get tired of hearing your story Mandy. And my eyes are all watery from reading the words that Stephen said, "I already have a dad." Wow. Josh is such a good man. You are a good mom. And I am so happy your family is the way it is NOW! Love you.
 


At December 31, 2008 at 2:58 PM, Blogger Kodos Mom said........
But in the mean time you have a wonderful son who provides you love and laughter at every turn....
 


At December 31, 2008 at 4:02 PM, Blogger Rick said........
I agree with everyone. Just wanted you to know I read your blog and was touched by it.