Thursday, April 30, 2009
I love my husband! One of his best qualities is he makes me laugh though most of the time it's not intentional.

The following story will explain what I mean by that.

Josh has a Mother's Day "tradition" where he wakes up ON Mother's day around 6 A.M., wakes up the boys and drags them off to the grocery store to by me a card and flowers. After the first few years of forgetting to by me a gift he decided it was best to call it a "tradition".

Well, one Mother's day a few years back Josh got out of bed around 6, grabbed a pair of shorts and a shirt out of the dryer and drug the boys out to our the closest grocery store near our house to by the "traditional" morning of Mother's day flowers and a card.

Josh stood there with the boys looking at cards with the rest of the men in Huntington Beach who had forgotten to get their wives/mothers a gift. Josh was getting an occasional smirk from the other men standing at the card isle. Josh looked at Stephen and made some snide comment about how it was their "tradition" to buy something the morning of Mother's day but all the schmucks standing there had forgotten.

Josh came home, presented the bouquet of roses then walked toward the kitchen. As he was walking away from me I noticed something on the back of his shorts. I walked up to see what it was and noticed a pair of my underwear had stuck to the Velcro pockets on the back of Josh's shorts when he pulled them out of the dryer.

Those things were stretched from one pocket to another so there was no mistaking what they were either!

It was at that moment Josh realized why all the other men buying flowers and cards at 6 A.M. were laughing at him.

Roses for your wife on Mother's Day $20
A card for your wife on Mother's Day $3.50
Buying it all with your wife's panties plastered to your butt Priceless!
posted by World of Wright at 8:35 AM | 4 comments
Tuesday, April 28, 2009

As some of you may know, my mom, Josh and I went to the Stagecoach Country Music Festival in Indio last weekend.

As we searched the vast expanse full of red necks wearing cowboy hats made of Budweiser boxes for a porta potty that didn't have a 3 mile line, we came across the audition tent for The Singing Bee which may return to T.V. on CMT (Country Music Television) this year.

Mom insisted I try out. As she begged, the casting guy started siding with her.

Against my better judgement I gave in.

First came the written exam.

I passed 16 out of 20

Believe it or not I don't know "Hit Me Baby One More Time" as well as I thought I did.

Believe it or not I know "Thank God I'm A Country Boy" a lot better than I thought I did! FRIGHTENING!

I move on to the "on camera" audition.

They play a couple tunes, when the music stops I complete the lyrics.

She shoots...she scores!

They tell me someone will call if I make it to round 3.

Well, someone called today! I am going to Hollywood! (I always wanted to say that)

The casting agency wants more video and some pictures to send to the producers. If I'm dorky or perky enough I just might be on the show (I feel sorry for Joey Fatone already).

This is my one shot to say or do something stupid on T.V. and I'm gunna take it.

This is Mandy Wright and I'm livin the deam!

posted by World of Wright at 1:05 PM | 5 comments
Thursday, April 23, 2009
As you all know Josh is managing Jagger's baseball team.
We have an anonymous person emailing and complaining about the coaching ability of Josh, his other 3 coaches, playing ability of the kids and the pitching abilities of the coaches (coaches pitch to the kids in this division).

Jagger's team is a group of 12 boys ages 5 to 6, half of which have never played baseball until this season. Many didn't know where first base was when we started the season.

The following email was the final straw and I thought I would share with my wonderful blog followers.

The player's names have been changed and I'm sure I will never be viewed the same by you all again. Contrary to popular belief, I do get angry at times and yesterday my claws came out.

This is the email our team mom received...

Team Mom,

I have a few suggestions I would like to have you send to your Coaches..
1. Start spending more time with other players instead of Jimmy and Johnny.. For spending so much time on these two they sure don't seem to be all that at the sport. They seem to mess your team up alot.
2. Also stick with one pitcher that can actually pitch to these kids and give them a chance. You are suppost to be boosting their spirits about the game not making them feel like they can't hit.
You can take or leave what I said but for the kids I hope you listen. Go JIMMY and JOHNNY

Now for my response...

Dear "Concerned Person",

Your email was forwarded to me and I am happy to respond to your concern but first I must pose a couple questions.

1. Do you make a habit of belittling the playing abilities of 5 and 6 year old children?
2. Did you realize that Jimmy is the team mom's son and she is extremely offended that would speak so ill of her child?
3. Did you realize that one of the pitchers who "can't even pitch to these kids" as you spouted in your email, is the team mom's husband?
4. Do you even have a child on this team or are you a parent sending anonymous emails because you are incapable of having an intelligent adult conversation?

Now to address your concern... If you would like to help coach these kids so they each have more one on one time with an adult, you are more than welcome to join the team and help out. If all you want to do is sit on the sidelines and complain then I suggest you just shut up.

If you would like to try your hand at pitching to the kids, please be my guest. Again, if all you want to do is complain about it then again, I suggest you shut up (do you see a theme here?).

Jimmy and Johnny are great kids who always do their best and they love baseball.

In life there are winners and losers.
Winners walk away learning something and always try to do their best.
Losers talk smack about children in anonymous emails to the team mom.

Coach Mandy

posted by World of Wright at 4:19 PM | 2 comments
Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Jagger and I were watching baseball on T.V. together when a player with the number 17 walked up to the plate.

Jagger said "17 is my favorite number!"

"Why?" I asked

"Because it makes me think of the color gold" he says...

Completely confused and intrigued at this point, I ask him why the color gold is so wonderful.

Jagger replies "Because the gold markers at school smell the best".

I learned 5 things that day.

1. Jagger's favorite # is 17 (which is an odd number to have as your favorite. 7 or 4 yeah, but 17?)
2. There is a method to Jagger's madness (which I will never understand)
3. Our children no longer just pick a number because they happen to like that number but rather strategically choose a number based on a deep connection to that number (blah blah blah)
4. Jagger sniffs markers as school (which explains a lot!)
5. Jagger should be kept far away from the glue!

posted by World of Wright at 11:44 AM | 4 comments
Tuesday, April 21, 2009
So my friend's husband works out of the country from time to time. My friend Francesca (I have changed the names in this story to protect the not-so innocent) is very social and outgoing. Francesca's husband is an engineer scientist type who likes things more quiet and orderly. Since the hubby is out of town, Francesca invited a few of us girls over for a girls night at her house. This works out well because Francesca gets to be with the girls and the hubby doesn't have to deal with it.
I'll supply the karaoke machine, there are probably going to be a couple chick flicks on had, and it is always very loud when we all get together. Not really the ideal situation for an introvert engineer so he is very glad to be gone while the house is taken over by cackling women.
When I got home last night Josh said he saw an evite from Francesca and asked if I was going to go and possible spend the night. I said I probably would just crash there so I didn't have to drive home late.
Little Jagger pipes up and asks me "Are you guys gunna have a pillow fight?" This question is promptly followed by a "Yeah Dawg! That's what I'm talkin bout!" from Josh.
Jagger probably didn't know what he was talking about and Josh is well...Josh.
posted by World of Wright at 1:23 PM | 1 comments
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Saturday I spent quality time with the children boiling eggs and helping the kids make a mess of my kitchen with egg dye. Not that they needed my help making a mess of my kitchen but I helped none the less.
Sunday comes and Josh is in charge of hiding the eggs. We close the curtain to the back yard and let Josh find clever little hiding spots in the yard. We have lots of bushes, flowers and grass, all of which are perfect for egg hiding.
The hunters are 6, 8 & 14.
I peak out the widow and see eggs in plain view in the middle of the yard!
This could only mean 1 of 2 things...
1. You think your kids are so stupid they can't find an egg in the yard if they laid it themselves or..
2. You don't want to find out that
your kids are so stupid they can't find an egg in the yard if they laid it themselves
To make matters worse Josh decides to pose for a picture next to every egg in the yard! He did everything short of point and jump up and down at every egg he "hid" in the yard.
I tell Josh that he could have hidden the eggs better to make it more of a challenge for the little ones. The kids were finding the eggs so fast I didn't have time to take pictures for cryin out loud!
My wonderful husband assured me there were 3 eggs they would never find because he found the best hiding spot of all...He kept them in the egg carton on the back yard table. Who would look in the carton the eggs came from.
Josh's parenting style is simple.
Set the bar very low and you'll never be disappointed.
The kids did find all the eggs in record time after all...
posted by World of Wright at 10:18 PM | 1 comments
Tuesday, April 7, 2009
I slammed the tip of my right thumb in my sliding glass door on Friday morning.
I miss having my old thumb and I have compiled a short list of daily tasks that are harder now that I am injured.

1. Zipping your pants requires full use of your right thumb
2. Typing is much harder these days as I have to remember to push the space bar with my left thumb.
3. accessorizing an outfit requires use of both thumbs for clasping necklaces, watches, earrings etc.
4. Tweezing eyebrows has been virtually impossible since my incident.
5. Operating the remote control...horribly painful these days.

I urge you not to take your precious thumbs for granted.
(Ouch! I used the right thumb on the space bar that time)
posted by World of Wright at 9:30 AM | 2 comments
Thursday, April 2, 2009
My mother...

When I was little (around 4 or 5) my mom would watch The Twilight Zone which would freak me out. Then after the episode was over she would send us to our rooms for a nap. I could NEVER fall asleep because every time I closed my eyes I would see images of the freaky things that I had seen on the show. The sight of those people with their noses taped up to look like pig snouts haunts me to this day.

In the summer of 1998 we went to Universal Studios. We were in line to see Back Draft which was full of fire and explosions. My mom has a large burn scar on her arm from when she was a child so what does she do??? She convinces a boy in line with us that she got the scar from the last time she came to see Back Draft. She shows him the scar and he turns white.

Fast forward to 2009.

Mom is off the week of spring break so she wants to plan something fun with the grand kids. She's thinking Queen Mary tour and maybe the aquarium. So far it sounds good until she shows me the haunted Queen Mary tour and tries to convince me the boys would have fun.

I know my mother and she will totally mess with the boys' heads the entire time then send them home to have nightmares in MY house.

Would it kill her to knit and bake cookies?
posted by World of Wright at 10:34 PM | 2 comments