Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Josh and I met with Jag's teacher this morning. Stephen had the same teacher when he was in second grade and we were surprised that she remembered him.. I mean, it was 7 years ago.
She said "I got to see Stephen a couple weeks ago when he was frantically looking for Jagger but Jagger had walked home with someone and nobody knew where he was or who he was with".
"Yes, I remember that day" was all I could reply.
That was the day when the entire school realized I am a horrible parent. My strategy is simple...Lower the expectations the other mom's have of me so they stop asking me to be on the PTA. So far it's working.
So Josh got to sit in a "big people" chair while I sit in child size chairs waiting for the good, bad and ugly.
I was taken aback to see some of the kids chairs had seat cushions on them. Do kids REALLY need a seat cushion at school? Are their buns so tender they can't sit in a regular school chair like I did my entire childhood? No wonder some of these kids cry when you look at them!
But I digress...
Jag is in advanced math but his story writing skills are lacking (HELLO! Left brain right brain!!!).
He rushes sometimes so he can go to recess (I do the same thing around lunch time...who cares!).
Jag is very popular and all the teachers adore him. One of the third grade teachers has dibs on getting Jag in her class next year (Oh yeah...he's a butt kisser).
The way I see it, he'll be able to balance his check book, he will be too lazy to think up some dramatic story about where he's been all night, and he's already learned you can attract more bees with honey than vinegar.
He's gunna be just fine!
posted by World of Wright at 1:19 PM | 2 comments
Thursday, October 8, 2009

So Jagger wants to be Jeff Hardy for Halloween. Why? I have no idea! He was going back and forth between Kid Rock and Jeff Hardy and to be honest there isn't much difference between the two.

Why didn't he just come out with it and say "Mommy! I wanna be trailer trash for Halloween!"

Jag jumped on the Internet looking for these stupid sleeve things which are clearly woman's tights cut up and used as hard core wrestling accessories. Does this not scream MOMMY ISSUES?

I refuse to spend $15 PLUS shipping to buy the replica mommy issue selves on the WWE website so I'm gunna buy girls tights at Walmart, cut them up and ship them from work so he gets them in the mail just as if the were shipped from the WWE web shop.

I could refuse to let him go as "mayor of the trailer park" but then he might pick a costume that actually cost money.

Why would I forbid him from dressing up in girls tights, a wife beater and jeans? It's like a Halloween dream come true! $5 for a Halloween costume.

This is almost as good as when Stephen dressed up as Dog The Bounty Hunter in 5th grade!

I'm starting to see a theme here...

posted by World of Wright at 10:45 AM | 2 comments
Monday, October 5, 2009
Well luck for me, my best friend's little brother, which makes him MY little brother, got married over the weekend.
I dressed Jagger up in a cute little preppy outfit complete with a collared shirt and khaki pants but Jag insisted on rolling up the sleeves and wearing his "Kid Rock" hat.
Not in the mood for a fight I just let him wear it.
Jagger only asked me when we were going to eat 3 times during the ceremony which was actually impressive.
Later that night when I was on the dance floor with Steph
en and my mom doing my best impression of the "Thriller Dance" made popular by Michale Jackson when I got a tap on the shoulder.
Josh tells me "Honey! you gotta come see this!"
To my surprise I find Jagger with the ring bearer sitting at the bar chugging Shirley Temples like sailors.
Around 2 AM he was bent over the toilet hackin up maraschino cherries like a college freshman.
It's better that he learns these lessons now rather than later.
posted by World of Wright at 9:00 PM | 1 comments