Thursday, January 15, 2009
I debated weather I should share my stories sometimes. I don't want to offend anyone but I have to believe I am not the only mother trying to raise God fearing Christian children with these types of issues.

I digress...

Stephen is my "instigator" for sure. He knows exactly what will set Jagger off and he enjoys watching his little brother get in trouble for getting out of control and retaliating.

Jagger being much younger feels the need to fight dirty because he is so much smaller than Stephen he knows if there is any shot at winning a fight the fight must be dirty. We often see Jagger "Hulk out" and turn dark green as his shirt starts tearing off his body.

Last night while out shopping for shoes the boys got into it....again. All I know is that while I was looking for a the right shoe size I hear Stephen start to giggle and Jagger has somehow ended up on the floor crying.

Embarrassed and VERY angry, Jagger turns to Stephen and yells as loud as he can A-- H*!3!!!

Jagger then looks at me with the fear of God in his eyes, begins sobbing uncontrollably and attempts to walk out of the store by himself.

All you could hear was the chirping of crickets and me gasping for air.

In the dead silence irrational thoughts begin to rush through my head...

Should I walk him around the store and ask people if they have seen this child's mother?
What is the best soap I can shove in his mouth that won't kill him but will make him wish he were dead?
If Bob from The Biggest Loser hadn't gotten so mad at that lazy woman on the treadmill Jagger never would have heard those types of words and non of this would have happened!
Can I get someone to stand in front of that security camera so I can beat my child in private?

The silence is broken by a giggle from Stephen followed by "DUDE...You are SOOOO in trouble!"

I drag them both to the check out counter by their ears and vow never to return to that store again.

I am starting to run out of stores at this point...
posted by World of Wright at 8:54 AM |


At January 15, 2009 at 10:14 AM, Blogger Rick said........
Based on some of the things I've seen, I don't think you have to eliminate any stores from your shopping list. That probably wasn't even the worst incident they had that day. Good luck figuring out equitable consequences.

At January 15, 2009 at 4:11 PM, Blogger SingingShrink said........
Robbie Pate here. I think most of us have been at that point with siblings before. I know I have. Sure, it's been a decade or so, but, I would think the public humiliation of being dragged by one's ear would be most of the consequence (at least the part they remember). As far as soaps go, the movie "A Christmas Story" has a good soap-in-mouth bit.

At January 15, 2009 at 9:58 PM, Blogger Heidi said........
My mom preferred using liquid soap.

Not that she ever had any reason to use it or anything.

No, no.

She just "told" me once that it was the most effective to use on potty mouths.

At January 16, 2009 at 11:22 AM, Blogger VikingMom said........
Heidi my mom "told" me the same thing once too. Apparently her "warning" worked because I never had to use it...oops I mean, hear it again!

At January 17, 2009 at 10:05 PM, Blogger Kristi said........
when i was a little older than jagger, i lived on a christian bible college campus. my parents both worked there. they were both so "spiritual".

my friends and i were hanging out at the college - upstairs - talking. someone made me mad and i said "SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH!" (I learned that from one of the "bad kids" Eric that my mom warned me about.)

So of course, I run away.

While the other kids go down to my mom's office and tell on me.

She leaves work early, comes home and confronts me.

I played dumb. I told her I didn't know what she was talking about. That right at that VERY moment, I thought of my Uncle DAN and said "Shut your DAN mouth."

She didn't buy it.

At least Jagger isn't hiding anything.